approached with a $5 bill raised the first flag.

But can the cat make ugly-cry mouth?

These imagined conversations are rapidly becoming the best part of Tabloid Wednesday.

Gwake and bake.

Moving on, Nicole Kidman is 48 and pregnant with her third child with Australian flat iron salesman Keith Urban. (I forgot they had two.) (I regularly forget they’re married.) (I sometimes forget Urban exists.)

Dust of angels, nits.

I have never been more sure of anything in my life than that whoever mistook Nicole Richie for a homeless person did not respond the way the magazine says she did.

pic of me at work

Not to mention Pa’s own Budd Dwyer.

so in the last few years ive gained a lot of weight and am plus sized for the first time in my life and it’s horrible. it’s one of the main motivators to me losing weight. there is no selection, everything sucks and fits like shit.

Same.

Maybe watch the show first?

I hope I’m rich enough to afford an invisible chair someday.

Drain. Your. Beans.

My absolute favorite example of product placement where it need not be.

But for their sake, we’ll call them “Aborted Chicken Ovums Benedict”

So now I’m at work googling “box of fetuses”. Thanks.

After my unexpected c-section, I couldn’t walk upright for almost two weeks, bled horribly, had little help (stationed on an island with no family, and husband had to go back to work a few days later - he was a doctor at the hospital in which I delivered), and since I can’t take any normal opiate pain meds, did it all…