·*not an actual hawk

I’m a guy. Never really thought about it before but I’ve definitely said it. It’s usually when my brain is back to sorts after good sex. A “’hey’ I’m conscious of where I am and available for you now if you want anything (coherent thought/conversation/cuddling/smoke/water/more covers/an uber etc.), ignore me if you…

If by “we” you mean the coaches and management. Every teammate he’s had since joining the Yankees (except probably Jeter but he’s a douche) has said they love him

Obstacle course relay!

This is a really good article. It’s also very long and now my legs are asleep on the work toilet. PINS AND NEEDLES!

Does she know about the first one? Is your wife in the comment below? Did you know about her first one?

“trick her into it” implies that she was the only dumb one. THAT”S NOT OKAY!!.. I don’t really know what I’m talking about

Yep and it was amazing. Also, it’s gymnastics so you don’t switch up a routine that you’ve perfected and performed for months to save some other country’s girl’s parents feelings (the athletes don’t care). You dunk on them

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This reference will be lost on most sadly

All three floor routines happened after the US had basically wrapped up the competition. But instead of taking it easy, they went out and put the top three floor routine scores in the competition down - just because they could.

Actually not that rare nowadays. We’ve kinda escaped a lot of synth only music. Check out Alabama Shakes, St. Paul and the Broken Bones, J Roddy Watson, Vulfpeck or even some of the electronic music (Galatic, Floozies) will record with electronics but then perform with live instruments

Thrift shop can eat a dick but the only reason we all know the fucking thing is because of the dope horns in that catchy ass song

Can’t believe we haven’t seen LPShea in these comments claiming this is evidence of ‘roid rage

He is now invoking the, “I have Japanese friends” defense

LP has come to Deadspin to piss in everyone’s cereal because he/she doesn’t understand how athletes are better at things than he/she is

“Every single elite swimmer or track & field athlete Everyone dopes in some way. Every single one.”

“Have you actually seen Ledecky’s, or any other elite swimmer’s musculature? No woman can achieve that naturally.” This in incredibly incorrect. Plenty of women can achieve this naturally. Rigorous training causes hormone shifts in everyone - not just men. For women, it can effect their menstrual cycle but it’s…

Counterpoint - you’re wrong.

I think she turned it down. Plus, not so subtle Simmons burn: “Nah just kidding, you can just talk to all your other bros about the Wire”