"Thug" makes an appearance. This is a good word, people. We need it for the young Wahlberg who blinded a man. We need it for the Eastern European guys who lived in my building who could be encouraged to break a journalist's legs if they published something against the local prefect. We need this word.

He was all like "well those stuffed, plaid shirt man haters are going to complain anyhow. Might as well give then something to REALLY complain about non?"

I find this hilarious. I'm going to guess that the top freak outs over this will be coming from a specific neighborhood in Brooklyn.

As long as they're not drinking vaccines, their babies will be fine.

Why do apps hate the letter 'e' so much?

There has to be some component of wild irrational love in the story. While he serves his time in jail, the wife and child serve their time in the jail of poverty and loss, the thread of love and meeting once more their only light in the darkness. Very Nice, I might just have to write this novel.

Even better, especially if after they are placed the other people bully and pick on her as she struggles, then she finally makes a friend and not only has others accept her, but learns to accept herself.

omg i am totally finding a way to use "break pencils over my body" in conversation today.

Noooo. Mint and olive oil? He is definitely planning to kill and eat you.

Oh jeez. I might be a freak nasty bitch, cause all I could think was, "The smell of fresh pencils is very soothing."

How can something be "very tepid"? Tepid is by definition not an intense state. Also why is that the part of that message that's bothering me?

Mint & Olive Oil? I admit I have an over active imagination & watch a lot of Hannibal, but my first thought was "he's going to make sausage casing out of their intestines."

Agreed. But the fact that he looks like Stephen Fry with bleached tips needs to be acknowledged. He looks so much like Stephen Fry. Seems to have his height and build too.

This is one of my favorite okc mails....I am still curious how I would feel this in my armpits.

There was a creepy dude on Grindr, that told one of my guy friends what he wanted him to do. The exact words were, I kid you not:

I swear to God I would never do this, but I'd WANT to invite a whole bunch of people over to watch it just to see if he'd do it.

What is the diameter of this pepperoni stick? Is it like one of those slim jim style snack sticks or thick like summer sausage? How does he lubricate this?

I might agree to his proposal simply because I am very curious to see this guy at work.

There needs to be a separate online dating service, just for the whack jobs.

Well, as a true dyed-in-the-wool pervert who used to sell sex toys, I can tell you that my immediate first thought was, "oh yeah. Textured." So that would be my guess as to why pepperoni. If you don't want to go out and buy a big veiny dildo, this might be your cheapest option. Or else he's using the cheap stuff…