WIFE: Do you want the windows open?
ME: Nah, I’m fine.
WIFE: Okay I’ll open the windows a little.

Oh my fucking god, Drew! I’m so sorry that you went through that and I’m so fucking happy you’re alive! To share I went through something milder than that last year. I had 3-4 episodes where I was shaking badly. One time when I was going to work and it was so bad I couldn’t put the lid on my coffee; a stranger had to…

There’s already a perfectly fine Potomac crossing between the Beltway and Point of Rocks! Typical anti-CSA-and-ferry-operators bias!

Why bother stopping at Fox and go straight to 1600 Penn?

What are the odds on “Ambien bender?”

That’s a hell of a way to apply for a job at Fox News. 

Holy fucking shit, that was waaaaay worse than I was expecting. What a terrible piece of human garbage. I can’t help but laugh about her mocking somebody *else* for just making money through Instagram. Bitch, your position only exists because we haven’t yet trained robots to do it. It’s the weakest type of advertising…

I gotta say, though, this has been a hell of a Black History Month, hasn’t it?

Place your bets:
“I have black friends.” - 1/2
“I was hacked.” - 1/2
“I’m being silenced/targeted by the liberal media.” - 4/5
“I’m a young, dumb kid and didn’t really mean those things.” - 3/1
“I was kidding.” / “It was satire.” - 4/1
“I’m being quoted out of context.” - 5/1
“I was drunk.” - 7/1
“Fuck yeah, I’m racist. White…

She posted this shit using an Instagram account with her name and picture front and centre? Behold, the master race. 

That’s a pretty solid spread of games right there. Good variety and solid choices.

Playstation FOOOUUURRRR!

SMASHED PENIS IN BETWEEN TWO WHEELBARROWS

Itty Bitty Bag Of Shitty

I was at that game and Gritty repelled from the rafters of the stadium. The repelling harness was clearly around the person in the costume, not the costume itself, so I think the belly button purple hole is to allow the cable to pass through the suit to the harness being worn by the performer. It’s fully weird that…

Clearly it isn’t decorative; it’s the hole that the human inside urinates through.. You can’t expect the dude to completely undress just to take a leak, he just guides the belly back toward himself, tugs his dick through, and pees.

And why are there two different colors/styles? If I’m swapping that costume between…

“Umm....Can I....can I fuck it?”

You’re 100% right, but fun fact he actually has nothing to do with Kraft foods he made his money from his investment company Kraft Holdings. That being said I bet if they did sign him the chowderheads would probably boycott kraft foods thinking he owns it.

That loud wheeping noise you hear around the DC area right now is the Metro crying while reaching for its gun to kill itself. 

You can repeat yourself as often as you like, and you’ll still be wrong.