Malcolm McLaren would definitely recognize a rip-off when he saw one.

So, in fairness, this is pretty much how I’ve seen Madonna over the past several years.

I will remind you that YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE.

What’s the point of ANYTHING without a trampoline?

Not much of a reader, huh?

I’m sorry, I had not heard that alcohol only makes white people into assholes. I’ll make a note of it.

Yes, poor Courtney.(/s)

So, you know there are people who believe that it is against God’s law for races to mix, right? So, is it OK, then?

No, it is totally not important to know the reasons beyond, “They are religious and, frankly, it makes them crazy.”

I’ve got two things from the “And also” section:

I would bang Blake Shelton if it was two AM and he was what was left, but I wouldn’t kiss him and I sure as fuck wouldn’t fight over him.

Untrue. Some of my farts make me want to kill myself.

So, how many tweets add up to $250,000?

Well, in fairness, Kara (Like Tom Harding) is kind of a dick.

Clearly you’re not paying attention. He absolutely sees the pain and despair. And he thinks it’s icky.

I remember him as always being a total bitch. I remember him talking a bunch of shit about Jimmy Somerville and thinking, “Girl, you’re a total bitch.”

If I had to spend that much energy worrying about not being misconstrued, I’d never leave my house. Oh wait. I really don’t ever leave my house.

No stars for you. Seth Rogen is my #1 celebrity crush.

EMPIRE! Today...

It’s OK. I moved on to The Bionic Man.