I have to believe this is sarcasm and you just forgot the /s.

Also, those people eat their young. I’m certain of it. They are not human.

Man, you made this joke 2 mins before I could. #proudnewowner

I’m so sorry for your loss.

The honesty here is next level. Applause. Orthorexia is exhaaaaaaaaauuuuussssssting - I’m sure for people living with it, but also for those of us that love them.

There’s no way you ate Little Caesar’s in Detroit during the 80s and early 90s and still think that pizza was disgusting. Its modern “hot and ready” incarnation may be food only in the loosest sense of the phrase, but back when your Pizza! Pizza! set came on one long piece of cardboard wrapped in paper, there was…

I love the notion that while we (should) have no choice at all over our reproduction, we have all the choice in the world about whether to work outside the home. It’s, to borrow your phrase, Jim Green, you caveman, simple economics: my family doesn’t make enough to support itself without my income. I’d frankly be…

Homegirl either has natural breasts or somehow got implants that look exactly like natural breasts. Either way, I’m here for them. They look like mine on their very best day when I was 17 rather than the omnipresent Svedka robot look.

This is my BIL to a T. He was the inspiration for my notion of “culturally gay.” In all his interests, even in his mannerisms, there’s no way not to assume he’s gay. But he’s quite in love with my sister and even has regular sex with her. The heart wants what it wants.

It seems like they’re trying to ask if you pursued having biological children, including with ART. As someone who went through fertility treatment after learning that it was much cheaper than adopting (my insurance paid 100% for IUI, which worked), that feels really unfair. My husband and I were very, very…

There’s no way. Look at this American treasure.

I’m starting to feel like people can be culturally gay without performing or being aroused by gay sex acts. Because that man is gay, I don’t care whether he actually has sex with women.

Dear TMZ, not everyone a guy is shtupping is a muse. She would have to be inspiration for some art form. What is Scott’s art? Posting Instagram shots with Postmates promo codes in the caption? She may be his paramour, but not his muse.

I’ve always thought she seemed legit, but I over-identify with her as a reformed wild child with a big heart (if I do say so myself). But I agree—it’s a lot of work to do for simple image rehab. And the UN would be like, girl, bye.

Of the shit he’s done for publicity, this is the most productive and noble.

This is the first, and I’m guessing last, time I have ever said to myself, “Good for you, Shia Labeouf!”

I want very, very much to know which of either of their personae is real (assuming one is). Is she a crazy bitch or a big-hearted humanitarian who would lay down in traffic for her kids? Is he a freewheeling dude but very good, engaged dad, or is he a stoner with a whole bunch of unresolved issues who blows up…

Really? I’ve always found her brand—authentic or not—to be intense New York intellectual.

They were always such a bizarre couple to me. Do you think she was like, “I need to make some decisions about my Soda Stream contract. Can we discuss the intricacies of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict to help inform my decision?” and he was like “Totes! Lemme tell you about this time I secretly put my jizz on my…

What. is with. the “lip ring.” There is literally nothing I understand about it. Fake piercings? What, are you a 10-year-old at Claire’s? And a lip ring in particular? So not on brand—not her old brand, not her pre-robbery brand, not her post-robbery brand. And is she trying to start a trend? I can’t see this…