Also, Scotland has yet to revote on independence following Brexit, so the same nationalist, xenophobic movement that brought Trump to power currently has power where he lives, no? Am I missing something? That’s kind of like if you live in Italy in 1933 and Hitler comes to power a couple countries over and you’re…

There is no chance I will ever listen to a thing Tom Ford has to say after that fuckery with indoctrinating his kid to believe that the child’s own desires are less important than what Daddy dictates is “tacky.” Maybe it’s because my own mother put her own ideas and objectives so far ahead of anyone else’s need to…

It’s incredibly hard to describe how much I hate Anwar Hadid’s face. It’s like Bella’s face (which I also hate) but even less deserving of fame. And to be clear, I literally refer to Bella as “Coattails.”

Fuck I wish there was still #cotd for this.

Chelsea Handler, please stop weighing in. You have never shown yourself to have any particular acumen, be it political, comedic, or otherwise. Go back to your very weird vendetta with Angelina Jolie. At least it’s in your wheelhouse.

I hear you, but I’d bet a good percentage of us, if thrust unexpectedly into the spotlight, wouldn’t plagiarize a speech. Or wear a blouse with a “pussy bow” to a public event immediately after our husbands were heard talking about sexually assaulting women by grabbing their vaginas. Or, you know, have been married…

You’re familiar with the two American Psychos that are Eric and Donald, Jr., right? He had two (male) heirs already. Heaven for fend some bozo with a vagina had to handle Chapter 11 for the 6th time the family business.

I just saw Lea Delaria at my Starbucks! She was exactly as you’d expect her to be: all in black, skull scarf, aviators, jamming to her headphones but still friendly, esp to the baristas. That is all.

I feel like that’s the thing: if you’ve known someone like this, it’s doubly repulsive. Because these women don’t just love the drama, they’re legitimately, creepily invested and use the younger women as little avatars for their desire. If you think LVP hasn’t daydreamed of fucking “Schwartzy,” you’re nuts.

I find Sandoval embarrassing but endearing. The extensions, though. I at least understand the other things he does (spray tanning, flat-ironing) because (1) they do make him look put-together and (2) they get him air-time, which is kind of the point here. But the extensions...

Can we talk about Tom Schwartz? And Ariana, while we’re at it. They are the only two humans on this show. The rest of them are some kind of mutant life form. I kind of liked Sandoval until he put these things in as extensions.

I guess the character that she or the producers have written has started to grate. Her obvious jealousy of Lala, for instance, and clear alignment with sociopathic Katie (actually, Katie would be a lot more interesting as a soicopath; she’d be Stassi. Instead she’s just bratty and insecure) all while painting…

I always want to put a LOT of high-quality moisturizer on Kim, something with SPF. I want to smudge her eyeliner so it’s not so...Kim-ish. It just perches on her eyes, not quite settled in. I want to give her a serious keratin treatment. I really like her a lot, but she looks like she lives, well, like she…

Honestly, the more I watch VP Rules, the more I despise Lisa. The fact that she’s like 60 and a successful businesswoman but still gives a shit about the shenanigans of the personal lives of these twentysomething losers has made it clear to me that this woman will show up for any drama while pretending to be above…

The thing is, if Brittany knew what a misogynist was, she’d never be on this show, because she wouldn’t be dating a man who claims to pay for her lifestyle (er, she works too? Which we know because you bitch about your working together?) while bitching that that fact entitles him to a turkey saaahwich and recently…

Ditto. Just like the increased presence of that trashbox Mama Joyce got me off RHOA.

I have been saying for weeks now that’s his diagnosis. Everything fits—the creative output, the grandiosity, the mood fluctuations, the paranoia, the “insomnia induced psychosis” his doctor reported. This whole “he’s just now processing his mom’s death” is such a crock. Not because delayed grief isn’t real (and I 100%…

I think you’re underestimating the time and money I’ve spent on Us Weekly.

When I found out that those are not made by their personal chef but purchased at a take-out place accessible to the plebs, I felt like years of studying celebrity culture by way of Us Weekly were squandered. I clearly know nothing.

In the middle picture, I keep thinking it’s Stassi Schroeder from Vanderpump Rules, and that is really fucking with me (it’s not).