These stories inevitably lead to the fork between Jezebel readers: those who say they are pro-choice and argue that so, apparently is Anita Perry (e.g. "I believe abortion should be a choice between a woman and her doctor, but I'm not nuts about abortions—I'd rather women not have to have them.") and the pro-abortion…

Coupla things: I feel like Miley now gets a tattoo to commemorate each bowel movement. Also, she knows that, provided she doesn't plan on having black folks carry her around in a sedan chair (not putting it past her or whoever's pulling the strings at this point) and calling it "reverse-ratchet" or some such thing,…

Look, I just want the bitch to stop sticking her tongue out all the time. I love the "Wrecking Ball" video, I have mixed feelings about "We Can't Stop" and what she's doing now musically and sartorially, but seriously—she has become that friend you had in high school who did that vagina/eating-out gesture with the…

Stacy's right—after "Party in the USA" came out, a "reporter" asked her exactly which Jay-Z song it referred to and she said she'd never heard a Jay-Z song in her life.

Dear MIA,

Well, I'm officially convinced that Lena Dunham's red carpet objective is to push some kind of envelope by looking as bad as humanly possible. I've got a good 40 pounds on that girl; it's not a size thing. I'm not even suggesting that "flattering" on her needs to mean "slimming." But I'm convinced that what she…

Watch yo'self. It's comments like these that took me from approved (starred back in the day!) commenter to a grayed-out nothing. Oh, the horror.

Here's the thing, and I know I'm not the first to bring it up: does it matter? Does it matter if her nose and cheeks are made to look different, most western, more "pretty" with make-up as opposed to surgery? To be an Asian woman on TV, she's been forced to conform to some standard of beauty that is largely defined…

Are we really meant to believe that Gwyneth (a) goes to a gym with the rest of the plebs, not one installed in her home and (b) showers there? Homegirl has a private pilates studio in her home, no doubt. What, you thought she and Tracy Anderson were meeting up at the local Planet Fitness to do a couple miles on the…

Gucci Mane...was arrested...after a concerned friend contacted police about the rapper's disconcerting behavior.

I cannot say yes enough to this. Please type it up and send it to her, snail-mail style.

Someone accused LC of being a misogynist (sorry, I've been on a break from the internet)? That's a whole new level of ridic.

I consistently misread Aaryn's name as Aryan. And I'm starting to feel like that's no accident.

Kristen Stewart might be secretly dating Michael Pitt. Hedwig won't be happy.

That he didn't know is...allllmost excusable. That no one on his TEAM knew? Come on.

I thought it was supposed to be what I can only call a paisley. No?

WORD. Word word word. I think the intention of the whole book was for the writer to expose your preconceptions—"Oh, you thought she was the wronged one..." "Oh, you thought she was just responding to what had been done to her..." Yeah. I get it. Bad guy turns out to be innocent. Scorned woman turns out to be way…

Oooh, but she could be good for the mistress.

Please tell me I'm not alone here: I hated that book. I sold it back to The Strand within 10 minutes of finishing it. And I never sell back books. I still own a copy of A Million Little Pieces.

Anna, please. I'm dying here.