I'm normally a big-time Kyle fan, but last night's episode made it a liiiiittle too obvious how long she's been coping with/covering up her sister's problems, and how readily she'll hurt/bully someone else to maintain the status quo of the deluded world they live in. Aside from this nightmare scene, when Adrienne…

I don't know Rihanna personally, and I'm not a psychologist, but a lot of her handling of the whole affair has seemed to indicate to me someone who maybe has been exposed to abuse before and isn't totally identifying with the idea/feeling that it's not ok. That's the vibe I get from her in each interview when she…

Can someone without intense body dysmorphia (of both herself and other people) confirm for me whether it seems like Jonah Hill lost well over 40 pounds? I have a really hard time gauging bodies, and I suppose it's none of my business except it says how much weight he lost right there in the post. I would've thought…

Growing up, my best friend was diabetic (still is, we're just not that close anymore). Anyway, for her birthday I got her this giant thing of Mr. Bulky sugar free candies and, being that we were in 7th grade, we ate the whole bag. It was like 2 lbs worth. We literally had to be taken home from school and stationed…

This otter and I are gon' keep on keepin' on with our diet coke.

Given my vigorous hatred of cantaloupe, I had a feeling others would share my passion. It's one of those subjective things that you somehow imagine is objectively disgusting. I also have an extreme aversion to velcro (it hurts my ears) but I didn't think that would be quite so widespread, because even I acknowledge…

Seriously. Why not just have a big fucking bowl of cantaloupe, because that's what your once-diversely-flavored fruit salad tastes like now. @heartraterapid, what is it with dads and cantaloupe? Do you think it's some subversive method of fucking with your children?

Since Jensen Farms didn't label all of its fruit with a sticker, you may want to toss any cantaloupes of unclear origin.

Is there any unproven pseudo-science that Jenny McCarthy doesn't believe in?

That was my first thought too, and it makes practical sense, but it doesn't make narrative sense.

1. Her makeup is sick.

Dear Jared Leto,

Remind me to only take advice from people with "MTV" in their twitter handle.

Those are some seriously dedicated volunteers. I watched an episode of animal cops once where they had to rescue some ostriches and it was no joke. I mean, everyone knows they're aggressive but I hadn't thought about them literally jumping over your head, etc. God bless you, ostrich rescuers. You're better folks…

You took the thoughts right out of my head. There's really nothing more to say.

Hi, um. Ok, so I think there are about 100,000 problems here. But since this is about the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen, I'll only focus on 2. Kim, you're from a tremendous amount of privilege and parlayed that into even more privilege. Maybe just accept that the one thing you can't control and manipulate…

Jesus, Ashton Kutcher can't get the world's oldest word pun right? It's "when you assume, you make an ass out of u and me." It's like he just heard it for the first time and ran to his blackberry to say, "Jeez, what was the brilliant way you put that? Oh, hold on. It was like...repeat it for me? That was just so…

I feel like Jay and B sat her down for her birthday and were like, "You're seriously the worst. Please stop." And she did.

Alllll I want to know is whether this lady processes anything relating to divorces.

Michigan is close to passing a ban on "partial-birth abortions," which is unnecessary both because the procedure is already banned at the federal level and because the term "partial-birth abortion" is inaccurate anyway.