@onestrawplz: I like her a lot too, and for the same reasons, but I'm disheartened to read that she's has a 24 inch waist, which no one is debating. She's supposed to be an 8, but with a 24 inch waist? As her weight has dropped, I just hope she's still being a kickass chick and hasn't fallen back into disordered…

@Me.: Aw, thanks! Monkey FTW!

@kackerlacka: Oh man, I was going to reference a Frasier episode from circa 1998 when a caller says his mother "literally" hangs around the house all day and Frasier counters that in order to do that, she'd have to be a bat or a howler monkey. But your reference goes back much further.

Save the date faxes? Jesus, I'm a lowly commoner and I had the decency to send out magnets. How gross.

@resplendent.bitch: And um, what is it about you they're supposed to like if you don't bother to woo them? This guy doesn't even make sense. If you just sit back and want them to adore you, they can't adore you for substance, only for your money.

@throwdetta: Fo. Real. Mr. slowtraincoming leaned over to me midway though BBAJ and said "This guy is kind of a fox, no?" Now Benjamin Walker and Jon Hamm are on his list of "Yeah, I'd hit that" celebs.

I wonder if Jen's love of water has anything to do with the boatloads of money smartwater pays her?

@heytherefancypants: Ah. Thank you!

@Descarada: I have been mega emotional today, that state where you just wish someone would knit a safe little baby blanket for your soul, and the 30 seconds of LOLs I got out of this were hugely restorative. Hearted.

@Sukie: Grease FTW!

@AngriestGeek: I half-agree. The best voice a consumer has is their buying power. But I mean, if that's where we begin and end, why do we comment on here at all? Either we go see/do/buy/vote for whatever we're talking about, or we don't. But obviously we want to dialogue about it.

@IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel: I think I agree with that. It's just...so damn many child stars end up a wreck. I can think of only Natalie Portman who breaks the rule (though there may be more). If it's a question of their parenting, I guess I just worry about the kids. I thought your original…

@happysquid: My dad tried to explain the many Rogerses over Christmas and it was like, Dad, I can say the alphabet backwards and name all 7 books in "Remembrance of Things Past," I'm willing to accept this limitation of mine.

@IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel: I gotta disagree with that. I think the problem is that the Pinkett-Smith parents have thrust their children at an audience, to be consumed like any other entertainer: as a commodity. So you can't have it both ways. Entertainers—regardless or age—are a commodity. If…

I read the headline as Terry Gilliam, and all I could think was "Why is that pervert talking about Will Smith's kids?" and then I remembered that's Terry Richardson. I have a similar problem with Will Rogers, Roy Rogers and Kenny Rogers. Two have fast food restaurants and two have Western-themed personae. But I…

@Ri_L is Team Squidward: I like to think that this caller was inspiring Dr. Laura to see herself in a mirror, as her opinions do not put forth dialogue and I don't get the existence of somebody who will say the things she says.

I run the other way from any news about Dr. Laura so I'm confused: I thought she was yanked off the air after using the N-word? Or "retired" in a very "You can't fire me, I quit!" scenario.

@Amanda Chase Burns: Botflies! I have no secrets from mr. slowtaincoming. Really, we're open books. Except when it comes to watching videos of botfly extraction. That one I keep to myself. The secret only intensifies the joy.

@omgsoironic: I wish you could see my face right now. It's something along those lines (above), but he looks a little repulsed. I'm just...well, I'm hoping I'll get to have one of those one day. Everyone's got a dream.

@killedbyllamas: That's the most amazing thing I've ever heard. How does fabric even get in a pore? Amazing.