I also called him “Fag,” but that’s only because he’s long and thin like a British cigarette, don’tcha know.

Hinkie already predicted you would type exactly this. He is hinkniscient.

You say this happened in Florida?

Fun fact: “The Touching is, To Me, Off Limits,” was the original title of MC Hammer’s 1990 breakthrough single. 

I’m aware of it and think it is well worth it

Until he changes his name to Poorbum Conspicuous, yeah. 

Gord Dwyer is the most Canadian Referee name ever.

I was going to explain my joke and then I remembered that there’s nothing worse than reading an explanation of a joke.

You’ve heard of Twitter.

Absolutely a thing. When I manual I keep it in first when I drive through lots or the alley behind my house and third (usually) on residential streets. But I think the point is less that I’m using the specific gear as a governor but rather that driving a manual keeps me more aware of what the car is doing and thus…

Well, it’s back to normal and now I just look like an idiot, but trust me, it was insane.

“Mike” was always my favorite Beatle.

“In December 2015, he had said he was shaken after seeing the movie Concussion”

For the millionth fucking time, Adam Schefter was not and is not bound by HIPAA.

David Frum. The extremely famous former speechwriter who is now a senior editor at The Atlantic by dint of having been George W. Bush’s speechwriter. You absolute horse’s ass. 

I’ve listened to that a few times now and I don’t hear anyone say that. I’m sure that was in his head — probably in the heads of everyone in the room — but I didn’t hear it and as he left the podium his mouth was closed. Firmly, impatiently closed, to be sure.

Here’s a good tweet:

Did you hear that thing at the end? It’s a new day, with a new focus and new energy. So the Knicks will absolutely turn this thing around, you guys.

I feel like we can eventually undo any over conservative ideologies that may get implemented but we’ll never be able to reconstruct our atomized remains after a hydrogen bomb is dropped directly on to our collective faces.

Maybe he’s gaining weight in his retirement, and he’s angling for a new nickname.