Born into it, huh? Good for you.

This would be a good troll if Desi_Relaford hadn’t already pulled it last night.

Ack!

Humblebragging negates the firmest of grips, I'm not sorry to say.

That, and walk your dog. If it’s shitting in the house, you’re the asshole.

If only taste was was subjective ;)

The likelihood that he's a Blues Traveler fan is daunting, but I will hold my nose and pull the lever anyway in November.

It’s freeing to be homogenous descendants of colonialism than be held accountable in the new world? That, or socialized medicine. Or all the hash.

So these are all old-timey photo finishes?

Well that’s too bad, I thought he was pretty funny and spoke the truth. Good luck, Mike Yard- your deadpan was gold.

Also unfairly overlooked by many historians is their love of dance

Pro-Tip: Write your own obituary, and keep it updated.

Game. Set. Match.

You have no idea what was there prior to the newspaper’s edit, yet I don’t know what I’m talking about. You’re grasping. And a boring pedant who’s doubling down pyrrhically. You’ve lost the argument by your own admission. Now- fuck. off.

“No, I did not.” ‘nuff said.

Did you see the original article?

Editor’s note:The original headline on this story was insensitive and has been updated to acknowledge the historic gold medal wins by both Simone Manuel and Michael Phelps. We apologize for the original headline. The story has also been updated.

Take a page from the Warriors- The Nevada Silverhawks

(Don’t tell Peter Thiel, or he may reconsider freezing his head)