Ever? Really? If it's a long term, serious relationship and we see each other regularly, it makes sense for someone to break up with me in person. If we've been seeing each other for four months and getting together involves 40 minutes of driving or public transportation, I much prefer to be broken up with over the…

Thank you. Well said. The fact that larger numbers of people are growing fatter does not magically make 'fat' into 'normal'.

With an intricate system of ropes and pulleys.

LOL @ the grey lines on her sides to give her an hourglass figure.

I have hand warmers that I use during football season, and that package is completely covered in warnings. It doesn't specifically say to not put them on your tits, but should it have to?

Woah, wait. First of all this is a life skills class for "children with intellectual and some physical disabilities," not 8th grade homeroom. And it was in front of two other girls in the same class, who presumably were learning how to shave as well.

Oh. Wow. Ok. I didn't realize I was talking to someone with a defibrillator. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have assumed.

Or, you know, otters that look like Benedict Cumberbatch hating liquids.

Found on Twitter... (the mis-use of "betrothed" is really bothering me but the rest is spot-on)

Unfortunately, the mascot is relevant here regardless of whether you'd personally prefer it wasn't. Context is real.

For those keeping score at home that's a total of 100 problems for Jay now.

Some people forget how much Freedom the soldiers harvest for us. When they head off to foreign nations that have no means to attack us or change our laws, they're actually harvesting massive quantities of Freedom which we all need to thank them for, every day actually. The giant tanker ships full of Freedom come at…

If you can't tell the difference between a piece of literature and an invasion of someone's privacy, then there really isn't any point in me arguing with you. Show me a piece of literature whose sole purpose is to divulge personal information without the consent of participants and I will take back what I said. Until…

This comment is deeply offensive to Spambot Americans.

Not saying the boob grab was or was not on purpose, but if you're going to grab someone from behind on any part of their body you'd better expect to get hit. That's like sneaking up on someone in a dark house.

Fuck that. So much effort. I'd prefer to just be rolled in wearing my ballgown on a standing gurney, Hannibal Lecter style.

I actually worked for them briefly, and it was a surreal experience. I'd just returned to the U.S. from an Indian ashram and needed a temp job, and I think that made it worse. They were all "we use this like, cool yoga term 'astaya' to refer to our corporate loss prevention policy" and I was all "that's...not what…

Reasons this could impact Hillary's decision to run for president:

or batman ones. they go with everything.