They are called lies of omission and according to my youth pastor, you will still go to hell!

A moose ate him.

I don’t want to say this but i’m going to anyway, religious people are the absolute worst people.

She belongs in a cage. She’s not crazy. She’s a casually cruel, supremely cynical and self-absorbed crook. If her grift wasn’t cancer, it might have been identity theft, or check fraud or blackmail. She is a professional criminal; this was merely her crime of choice. It worked for Lance Armstrong, and for a while it…

I usually have the worst service at the big chain restaurants like Bison Feral Appendages, Pepper Pods, Italian Flatbread Shanty, and of cours the Blue Crustacean, though nothing beats that last story from Cow Milk Monarchess.

Jamie Layton’s story reminds me of a famous story I heard when I was working at a regional theater festival.

Flying Frozen Cannoli of Doom.

The world of the denim mini was the world of possibility.

all my greatest accomplishments occurred when i was a teen

I just snort laughed so loud my co-workers thought I was choking! LOL

The Mayor of Sunnydale

My (now ex) fiancé and I had a somewhat long-distance relationship. I worked an a city 3 hours from the small town we lived in, so I would stay with friends or my parents while I worked my 4 days on, and go home on my days off. Things were never "good" when I was at home, but anyone can tolerate each other for 4-5…

They were both standing, staring off into the distance right in our direction, but made no move to answer the drive-thru window

that was a humble brag if i ever saw one.

OK Tyra. We get it. You're super biz now.

Be careful. They call it snake oil, but it's actually full of beaver ass secretions.

I think that to the Food Babe, natural means "anything that doesn't scare me or gross me out."

"lizard people live under Los Angeles"