I’m just so glad that I know all this now, before I watch the episode. Sometimes TV can be too enjoyable, and you just need a way to ruin it a little bit.

Hah. It was pretty fucked.

First shift a trip a new retail job and I really have to fart, so I sneak over to a deserted section of the store and let it fly. Of course, it ends up being A Fart That Could End a Marriage, and someone comes over looking for help about three seconds later.

OMG the idea of shitting in pantyhose never crossed my mind and now I’m traumatized. Also? What does the dollhouse have to do with anything? Did it keep you occupied while she was scrubbing poo?

“I don’t like drug addicts and freaks hanging around where I live — they should be living under a bridge or in a cardboard box somewhere far away from me.”

This is a crazy ass racist story. And the narrator is a turd himself.

Pink vomit sounds extremely cool though. I would have been like “Guys. Did you see this? PINK vomit”.

When I drink tequila I wake up the next morning thinking, “huh, I did not know I would ever sleep with you, random coworker.”

I’ll just leave this here for all the nineties goths who might remember it.

My tale isn’t exactly public, but at least there’s a witness. It’s a story of shame and the meaning of friendship.

It’s a thing as far as I am concerned, and it seems like a perfectly rational fear to me. I had braces as a teenager, four impacted wisdom teeth as a young adult, and as an adult I have undergone six root canals. The state of my teeth frightens me enough just being in my head, let alone being endangered in any other…

As a teenager, I got so scared at a Haunted House, I peed my pants. I am really bad at suspense.

I was in India and got really, really sick. A couple of guys took pity on me after a couple of days and had me staying in their room (three beds) basically so that someone would know if I died. I’d been staying with them for a few days when they decided that I was just lolly-gagging at this point and was well enough…

I shat in a hat in the backseat of a car. Multiple times. It was dumped out a window into the jetsream when my friend began to play who can we hit?

I have an interesting Pee story thats also mixed in with the worst period story of my life.

I started my period at the very young age and by the time I was 10 years old I knew the drill, but I was caught unawares. My theater club was in a competition to put on the best play for the county and I was like 3 hours away…

I was so embarrassed about this story that I only just recently started sharing it with people. Back in 2005, when I was 17, my then-boyfriend and I did a 3-week detox diet to cleanse our systems. The minute we’d completed the diet we went to see Brokeback Mountain in theatres. I ordered the largest Pepsi and popcorn…

Vomit stories? I got y’all covered.

So, I’ve had a medical condition since I was 9, it causes me to vomit copious amounts, in public, in private, all the fuck over. To the point that at the children’s hospital I went to, UTMB, I got nicknamed Vomit Girl. Too much spinal fluid on the brain fucks yo shit up.

I rode the…

I once ripped one at work that was so foul that the owner thought there was something wrong with the plumbing and called in plumbers to try to figure it out. They were there for hours, and I never had the heart to fess up. God, I was an idiot.

i was working my internship at a community behavioral health office doing psych intakes. I was asking a gal about her mental health history when she suddenly switches from her flat, “I don’t give a fuck” affect to very energetic and urgent, asking, “where’s your bathroom?” After she left, I found that the chair was…

Mine was in 8th grade during a test can’t remember which one TAASK or something. I had a stomach bug told the teacher I was not feeling well but was lectured on the importance of the test. Halfway thru I vomited all over myself the desk and the floor. Then into the trash can on my way out the door. I don’t remember…