Ubisoft tries to have it both ways. ‘Oh it’s just a game!’ and they’re pretty open about admitting how they’ve modified the architecture a bit to make it easier to traverse, but in other pregame hype they also go on and on about how much research they’re put into making things accurate, so you get quotes like this:

You’re the most embarrassing thing about your company that isn’t named “Kinja.”

I'm also calling bullshit. For as long as I've been aware I've had genitals, my minora has tried to steal the spotlight from the majora. THERE ARE NO BIT PARTS WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR BITS

My mentions are a big pile of people who are angry at me for writing this so I’m just going to write it down here: Zola tweeted this insane story for two hours while racking up thousands of RTs on each tweet; it was nationally trending with 30K tweets about it when I woke up, but drawing attention to it on a large and…

What Earth does this take place on? Because I see old Jim Gordon here, as opposed to the strapping one in the bunny suit. Aw who cares. Cues Beetlejuice gif.

I’ve been reading Jezebel for at least 5 years now and this is what it took for me to create an account. I mean, filed to: ‘I Know Why the Caged Bird Hoes’?? This post is masterful.

(Sarah Koenig voice) But what would a woman who fux with boy shorts and pasties... be doing on Backpage?

twitter is like 90% only good for things like zola

Do you know what’ worse than typing bad comments?

I don’t really know why, but this one is absolutely my favorite. I’d actually kinda like to make one like this myself.

The cleaning staff were aspiring performance artists commenting on the disposable nature of culture.

Jason is obviously wrong about Spirit Tracks, but the rest of his review is correct.

“Yeah, I know. Wouldn’t it be fucked up if I beat you to death on your own doorstep?”

The only place I’ve worked that was food-service-y was a kid’s pizza party place. Not Chuck E. Cheese, mind you, but a cheaper knockoff version called “Spaceplay.” Our mascot was a beagle in a spacesuit called “Moondoggy”.

You know, of all the times I’ve been scammed, it usually wasn’t by people who were actually poor.

One day, this regular came in and was seated in my manager’s section (since it was slow the manager was also taking tables). My manager immediately let me take the table...