Criminal investigation ain’t over.

Second shittiest. Panama is the shittiest, or at least they will be after their players get sent off for trying their usual “physical” challenges in the Cup.

Italy and Netherlands and Chile didn’t qualify either, and they are all a lot better than the USA (and Saudi Arabia).

I was going to go with “Wenger to Madrid, he signs Abou Diaby, Kim Kallstrom, Gabriel Paulista, Denilson, and Sebastian Squillaci. They finish sixth, and Wenger blames referees and says he will never compromise his principles.”

Somewhere in Russia, a mob boss has climbed out from under a pile of coke and 16 year old Latvian hookers to transfer a large sum of money to Sergio Ramos’s bank account.

He took Salah not only out of the Final, but out of the World Cup a well.

Best player injured: check.

Dammit, Kinja seems to have eaten my response. In brief:

The way I read it, one is “this substance is absolutely prohibited” and you take it anyway (Contador), the other is “we grant you permission to use this substance at this dose” and you exceed the dose (Froome).

Full Metal Jacket was the first thing I thought of too. Is that you, John Wayne?

those characters sound the same as the Chinese word for “magic lamp”

“Hello, insurance company? My car got totaled. I’ve been paying premiums for years, and you’ve been investing that money, so you can afford to replace my car, right?”

Awful awful play, but before I criticize keepers too harshly I remember Robert Enke, the German keeper who committed suicide in 2009 due to...well, due to a lot of things, most prominently never getting over the death of his infant daughter, but the pressure of playing poorly as a Barcelona keeper didn’t help. I hope…

How old is that poster?

I have no idea what Patrick thinks is the difference between Armstrong’s and Donald Trump’s ethics. Trump has more money? Armstrong fucked more Olsens? Trump has bombed more Syrians? They both treat people horribly and declaim all responsibility unless backed into a corner.

Hamilton doesn’t pay for things.

But you turned it all around.

“That’s an outrage! What they should be saying is, ‘I’m in a union. What are they going to do, fire me?’”

What’s your bet, Polonium 210 or nerve agent?

Oh look, it’s the movie for people who still wish they were living in 1995.