Or that it had to shorten its headline to fit inside the margins.

Re: your username, did you ever see the 30 Rock episode where one of Tracy’s friends is an Edward James Olmos impersonator named Edward James Almost?

That video does not show Ryan Lochte with his wallet.

Do your “regular eyeballs” offer you any insight into which Brazilian cops kidnapped that New Zealand jiu-jitsu athlete a few weeks ago? Or was he faking it too?

The favelas explode damn near every night but they’re hellbent on questioning olympic athletes?

I don’t have an opinion on whether Caster should be allowed to compete as male or female. What irks me is that all American women who write about this don’t treat it as an athletic issue; they treat it as a “what about MEEEEE????” issue.

I probably would have said short track speed skating, but you’re basically right.

As soon as I saw the headline I said “who did Cavendish smash into this time?” That guy is the Djamolidine Abdoujaparov of the 2010s.

h/t Foghorn Leghorn

Yeah, but the OP said writing.

Going back to that equal pay issue, the one where USSF’s budget projects the USWNT getting $23.6M in revenue from national team events in 2016 and $17.6M in 2017...

I figured it meant “do you listen to Vengaboys.” Though I suppose that explains my social (sic) life (sic).

Didn’t take the test, but the Wikipedia article on the bandleader is really interesting. His body was recovered and brought back to Liverpool, where 1000 people attended his funeral and 30,000-40,000 people lined the streets for his funeral procession.

Damn right. She must have known him for...25 years? And she’s still able to look into the camera and report it with such professionalism and grace.

Agreed, but it might have been the kind of thing where the ESPN brass were like, “we all know TMZ is going to figure it out anyway, so why discuss it here?” Or maybe his family didn’t want it divulged. In short, it doesn’t have to be scandalous for ESPN not to want to talk about it.

You forgot to append “Eat at Arby’s.”

You: Hello 911? Someone’s having sex and I’m not. Come right away.

Is that a joke? Or do you think a stall in a restroom at a private corporation is a public space?

I’m not a lawyer, but I’m pretty sure that having consensual sex in a private corporation’s bathroom is not against the law. What action do you expect the cops to take?

Does masturbation count?