Well, that’s just wrong. How’s a keeper supposed to do his job if he can’t use his hands in the box?

I can’t believe George Lucas drives a motherfucking Jeep.

For some reason I don’t feel like blaming the loss on the only guy who scored points for his team yesterday.

This is the worst comment of all time.

I wouldn’t be so quick to blame Vontaze for such a monumental lapse in judgement.

Doctor: So what’s the name Cam?

Next year, I figure they’ll blame the low ratings on free will and the fact that it’s illegal to threaten people at gun point.

They should have just killed two birds with one stone on that call. “Hey Lovie... you’re fired, sorry about that. Now, we’d like to quickly do a 20 minute phone screener for our newly opened Head Coaching position.”

Mock Jim Tomsula ALL you want. Dude had his contract paid off when he was fired. He made $14-million for coaching one miserable year of football. Do you know how much Costco instant mashed potatoes $14-million buys? Jim Tomsula does!

Bagwell was fucking incredible. (I was actually digging around earlier for footage of what I remember as a Sunday Night Baseball game in 1999 or 2000 where he and Piazza were having what seemed to be a competition to see who could hit the most absurd opposite field shot.) Frank Thomas with a glove and base-stealing…

After a while it gets boring bringing your trucks to the same spot at the far end of the Walmart parking lot and you start thinking “guys, what if maybe there’s more to life”

Ballsy Ball Bails with Ball

“Goddamn Obama just lets people steal things now and doesn’t even care.” -Drunk father in law looking over my shoulder as I read this article. Merry Christmas!

Probably the shortest free-form Jazz performance ever.

A picture of the proposed fire pit:

Wow time sure does fly. I remember sitting on my couch, young, unmarried, jobless watching him win the Heisman. Now 18 years, 7 pro bowls, a Super bowl ring later, I’m sitting on my couch, old, unmarried, jobless, reading about his retirement. Life sure does come at you fast.

“I’m trying to win the game so I don’t get fired” is all we really needed.

It’s pretty obvious he was pissed about a team with one loss being called undefeated. No one understands that meme at all, so I can see why he got so angry.

If I was forced to watch Josh McCown start for the Browns every week, I’d be an alcoholic too.

Somewhere, a ‘STICK TO SPORTS!!1!!1!’ Deadspin commenter sits in front of a computer screen, sweating, unable to move, broken.