I'm a Bears fan. :'(

I don't like football because my team sucks.

Write a novel about getting upvotes. Then this is no longer procrastination, but actually extreme and lengthy research on the topic!

Nah not judgy. Actually more just free association. My mom would drink boxes of wine and she is a white person (unless my parents are in some long game to con me) so it was one of the first to pop into my mind. Plus that one bit of stage banter from an episode of Chapelle's show was in my mind too.

Boxes of wine
Malcom Gladwell books
Noodles & Company
Shopping at Von Maur

And it turns out every episode syncs perfectly with Limp Bizkit's cover of "Behind Blue Eyes."

No John you are the demons.

High school drop out rates are so damn high!

It's been my longest lasting one and there's no way I'm seeing a doctor. I don't want it to go away. I'm taking out a front page ad in the newspaper as we speak!

It's a trilogy.

The Hobbling: There and Back Again (in copious amounts of pain)

"the poster with the skiier is actually a minotaur… I know it's a skiier but it's actually a minotaur."

I love David Copperfield's line readings in that movie. There's something off about how he says his lines, I don't know if it was intentional or if it was him being new to acting in a movie or something…

It's not really hiding when you're sitting in a car seat…

Part of her community service for a DUI.

*gets to patent office too late in the day, it is already a strip club*

"Thanks civillian!"

Now you must use this knowledge to lead a life of crime.

Robosaurus!

Hell yeah! Great song!