But they’re coming tonight, the national champions, subject to the weather.

Shocked he didn’t have KFC & Popeye’s for “some” of the players and burgers for the others.

On what planet does brain trauma not apply to Quarterbacks?! Have you seen an interview with Jim McMahon lately? This is a really naive take, Barry. 

Yeah no way QBs should worry about CTE!

yeah he totally shouldn’t go celebrate his alma mater winning the national championship like some herb. it’s not like he graduated recently enough that he was actual teammates with half of the players or anything

Come on Watson, you are in a predominately white position, not a black one like WR or corner, so dress like it

Even if you thought it, why would you tweet it?

Hmm, I wonder what his take would be regarding a young black QB who enthusiastically and publicly marketed himself as a “brand”.

yeah, he always looks like that! btw I do want to see Bohemian, but his greatest performance so far was in The Pacific, he was incredible.

It would be a incomplete pass apparently.

I can’t wait until all of the right wing nut jobs collectively disbelieve gravity and just drift off in to space.

Mr. Wannabe Sugar Daddy: your own naivete is astounding but men still think waitresses and strippers really like them too. You’re being played with the long con.

When I was younger, I was given extremely valuable advice from a very unlikely source, and variations of this advice can be applied to countless situations.

That is some level 99 nerd cred there. Not only quoting Spock, but quoting Spock from Undiscovered Country. Epic. Especially since that quote may have been the only redeeming element of that movie... ;)

You just know Jordan’s friend spent a semester abroad in Barthelona and can’t wait to relive it with his bros.  

I got goosebumps at the last lawnmower pass. SO satisfying!

I scrolled down throughout the article hoping to read a header like “Stop cutting and pasting a collection of tweets and then calling it a story”.

I saw a comedian do a bit about this that I thought was quite brilliant. She was saying she was used to dating awkward comedian dudes and recently decided to make the move to handsome dudes and realized that they are actually way nicer. Most handsome dudes don’t hate women because women have always been nice to them…

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em:

“You know sometimes you eat chicken and you get food poisoning, and then even the site of chicken makes you sick. Tammy One is my blonde chicken.”