"what would you know"?????? OMG. It's not like it's, oh, your parts or anything... Good Lord. Some people's children.

Awwww, not true! I married an actor. An amazing, loving, working actor. In fact, he's never even needed a second job. They aren't all bad.

I don't think so, I think it was more a product of a judgmental parents who probably made it seem that repeating foods meant you're poor or unimaginative. It's strange, I know. Which is why we're not together, I hated how elitist and casually racist they were about everything.

I fucking hate it too. I wish more people would express violent hate towards these things that masquerade as human. I want to be there when they explain themselves to Jesus and he puts them on the big slide to the lake of fire...how in the hell do they think Jesus could ever approve what they do?

Told an ex it's the clitoris not the hole you use your tongue on, his reply 'my ex never complained, what would you know'. My reply 'your ex is a fucking liar'

Keep him. A man who recognizes that sex isn't over just because he has had his orgasm... Keep him.

Isn't it called coital alignment technique or something? I'm pretty sure that's what I gravitated to naturally, it it literally works every time.

He does the dishes, too! :)

HA! Just left a guy for that exact reason. He "tried" giving oral a few times in his 35 years of life and didn't like it...I can't commit to a man who thinks his dick is enough. ITS NOT ENOUGH!

I went out with a guy who happened to work in my field: politics. He claimed to have Senator Harry Reid's personal cell number, and they call each other all the time. Conversation went like this.

OH MY GOD! I haven't hooked up with a guy like that in so long I'd forgotten them! But yeah, the totally silent types are the WORST! I mean, the guy I just broke up with was the opposite - I was always like "do ALL my neighbors need to know we're fucking?" - but I'd rather have that than a guy where you're like "are…

The flame was already dying, but when a recent BF started always referring to sex as "sexy time," as in "when we get home tonight, we need to have SEXY TIME!" it was like the flame had done the ice bucket challenge. Boner killed.

That same ex was also always strangely euphemistic about sex, which wasn't a turn-off, but…

They stayed together for three years after that. I flat out refused to hang out with her when he was around because he was such an asshole. And she's pretty much the nicest person on the planet, so it was pretty sad. He ended up breaking up with her two weeks after he asked her to marry him. I hope he gets hit by a…

My friend in law school dated this asshole who would only eat certain things. She wanted to cook for him one night and she didn't know how to cook very well, so I helped her make this delicious brie and caramelized onion stuffed chicken breast and a yummy salad. She brought it to his house where he promptly threw it…

Did you know that your clitoris is actually shaped like a wishbone, extending around the vaginal opening? Kegels can help you get more stimulation from the rest of it.

In Which My Clitoris Sends A Text:

"You know I need to hear you say..."I'm coming"..to get off baby why don't you ever say it?" he said this with a with a straight face while he went through his 3 position sex-rumba....it was really sad on reflection as besides my utilities all I could think about was, "Why are you still letting this creep fuck you?"

Deal breakers: Men who don't read, men who don't smell good. Men who don't respect my taste in music, men whose musical taste I don't respect..

Step back, y'all. I got this.

Poor table manners. I don't care if you know which fork is which, but if you chew with your moth open, hunch over your plate, use your utensils like you're shoveling manure, keep your elbows on the table at all times, or are generally kind of gross around food, it's never going to happen. And food pickiness: I will…