I always feel like I can't take one. more. snide. weight. comment.

Never touch your face

He needs to eat you out till you come multiple times, then he sticks it in.

or erectile dysfunction?

that what I'm wearing will be out of place or something

I use:

I've never seen Avatar

Wouldn't that come off as a tad controlling

I was in a Walmart once (for work, I would never shop there personally). At the entrance was a McDonalds next to a diabetic testing center. I kid you not.

but given a choice I'd pick regular dude who looks like a hipster as opposed to actual hipster.

I have read Tammy Wynette's autobiography a couple of times

what might cause a healthy 38 year old man to suddenly only be able to last like 45 seconds during intercourse?

How do I break to my mother that I'll probably have to drop out?

He. Picks. His. Nose.

I feel like family knows all the buttons to push.

Find the grandma and hang out with her. Grandmas are always cool.

How do I stop having such a thing for hipster guys?

Jezzies, what are some movies you expect everyone to have seen at this point?