(Update: I now live with a perfect gentleman who gets me off every time)

My last ex was the KING of never admitting he was wrong. It was the world that was wrong. He was fucking perfect, people.

Central valley.

the most conservative part of California.

I was oppressing him by not allowing him to express himself via his cologne choice.

A jealous man is just a gateway to abuse.

Poor taste in cologne and/or deodorant.

OMG, yes. I had an ex who was super rigid about not repeating foods.

So I need to be on top or he needs to be grinding rather than just thrusting.

most guys secretly hate being reminded that mere insertion of the penis isn't enough

First date with an "actor" (yes he had headshots, no he had no acting credits of any kind)

That's not nearly slow, painful, humiliating, or terrifying enough…

I hope the three victims and their families band together and retain a civil rights attorney

I felt that somehow my choice to have sex with him had made the rape less of a rape.

My own church punished me for getting myself raped.

The Hump? An adult named their restaurant THE HUMP? What the fuck.

Are you serious? Seriously? For real? Is this something I just read?

I love Planned Parenthood. They're the best.

Most magical nipples evah.

Ugh, the boldly-worn giant crucifix.