Fingers crossed.

For his 70th birthday, Jezebel made a video of 70 names they have called him up to that point.

Dear Apple,

I never swung harder from "fan" to "fuck that guy" faster than with this asshole. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. DILLIGAF indeed.

I am guessing that, practically speaking, Lifetime couldn't afford to film a fancy car chase.

Producing a rape? Pfft. That's season 1 stuff. Remember Adam's creepy friend? Good times.

Adam may be white bread slathered in mayo and served on rice, but goddamn is he more interesting than Coleman.

I love watching strong women be boss evil bitches, but this was the first time I actually had a hard time watching. Darius' injury is a loaded gun that makes me physically uncomfortable. Watching these two narcissists fight over who can paralyze him faster is too much. And this is coming from someone who was okay with…

she raises her eyebrows until they’re practically smashed together, pushing them up and down her forehead to oscillate between manic delight

Mellie has been a Hillary stand-in for a while. The problem is, Shonda is putting Hillary's words in Mellie's mouth, and they don't work because the comparisons don't really match. For example, Hillary the person could arguably say "I've worked for it" because she spent 20 years as a state senator and a secretary of…

Maybe because I have am dead inside, but I am DONE with baby plotlines. No show has ever been made better by introducing a baby.

Psst. I thought the SAME thing. You can break an ankle trying to step on a full-sized mason jar like that.

It was the same dress as before, just with some stitching on the top and a brocade overlay on the lower half. If Jess looks like the type of person who makes her own jewelry, she can easily stitch a pattern into the bodice with some gold thread.

Schmidt's asleep?
Schmidt's asleep
Schmidt's ASleep

I had the opportunity to see this a few months ago and it is weird as fuck. I am really looking forward to being able to discuss it.

I just took that to mean he's a softy, not a cheater.

The stealing-the-gift-card thing really sat poorly with me. Bow and Dre are good parents, and despite their flaws and quirks, the kids are all good kids.

They could have just had the subplot be that Phil is attracted to a client. That's it. Leave the race issue off the table. People who pay attention will know the significance of the fact that she is beautiful and black, and the rest will just think she is beautiful.

I wasn't gonna go there.

There are WAY too many inter-family sexual story-lines happening. The crush Manny used to have on Haley is gross. The crush Phil had on Gloria is gross. The fact that Luke is sharing porn with Manny is gross*. The fact that Manny thinks Alex is making a pass at him is gross. The fact that there was an entire…