If you just want to see unionized workers make excuses for why black people deserve to be killed, we already have police unions.

did this ever really happen or are people misremembering it? Is this proof of a parallel universe?

Drugs can be a difficult habit to kick so we understand why he hasn’t sought your advice.

Could there be a better example of this astute observation?

Let’s be honest, this was more “Colts two man punt team” level of fuck up though, wasn’t it?

Stop trying to trick me into reading profiles of Jim Nantz, I’m not falling for that for the 48th time.

Of course, in that (purely hypothetical!) case, this performance would reveal our (purely hypothetical!) celebrity to be an extremely gross phony.

“At the end of the day, we just couldn’t walk away from mutual alliteration.”

—Buffalo Bills Personnel Person on sudden signing of Tyrod Taylor

I guess to understand it you’d have to look at what happens with Democrats actually in power vs. their stated platform.

Tim Duncan is thinking of coming out of retirement and joining the Warriors.

Jesus you fucking Patriot fans just don’t know how to stop after you’ve already won

*severely fucks up the part of my body my living is dependent on with a toy for children* im the most scientific mothrefucker out here libs

Buy, idiots. Asset value only ever goes up, economies only ever expand, and, simply put, there is infinite room for growth with no downside. That’s been my life experience anyway

To me that’s preposterous, linear time-keeping, things of that nature.

Psh, this guy basically wrote the book on hiring foreigners and stashing assets abroad.

“Rubbing his erect penis on an unwilling woman? No, no no. That’s all backwards!”
- Peyton Manning

When Maureen Dowd asked Peter Thiel why Cirque de Soleil performers had been hired to build the new arena, he replied dryly, “I would ask you, why wouldn’t they build the arena? We need to move past this ancient idea that buildings should be built by people who know how to build buildings. Let acrobats take a stab at…

I like Mark Sanchez too, but I wouldn’t go that far.

For a start, don’t trade your way to 12 second-round picks (yes, literally 12) to be used over the three years of tanking. Especially if not a single one of them manages to even be on the league’s worst roster when you ostensibly start trying to compete again, as is the case.

It’d also probably be a good idea not to…

Bell’s a better runner, but Johnson is a far superior pass catcher. Bell catches footballs like a great running back. Johnson catches passes like a great wide receiver.