When my parents were looking for home they were advertised as 1.5 car garage - it does fit 2 cars. We fit 2001 and 2003 Lincoln LS next to each other, facing the same way and there was plenty of space to open the driver’s door. Not all the way but you can get in and out easy, without sqeezing. On 1 LS you could not…

Maybe in some places, but not in my area.  I swear if I ever win the lottery I’m starting my own company and it’ll just be a bunch of clowns driving beaters that will be dispatched to park cars like that in.  No damage, just park so close that it’s impossible to get into the other car.  And when the owner knocks on…

While that’s certainly partially on the truck, what the fuck is up with modern builders making garages that are the bare minimum size to just fir 2 cars. I’ve been in so many houses in the last 20 years where even with 2 Rav4 sized crossovers parked you can barely open the doors and barely squeeze around the cars. 

This is a good pick. I really don’t think any car is objectively too long if the proportions work aesthetically. If the added length provides utility you need (i.e. a third row adults can use, or added cargo space), then it’s justified.

I’ve never been able to figure out which is the worse compromise: crew cab long bed that doesn’t really fit in most suburban parking lots, or crew cab short bed that doesn’t really fit anything in the bed*.

*I load a lot of large stuff in other people’s vehicles, and I get to watch people rock up in pickup trucks to…

Someone I knew had a wife and seven children. So, they owned a six-door Excursion. Essentially what they do is take an F-250 crew-cab long-bed, remove the bed, and then weld on everything aft of the B-pillars from an Excursion body. I think the donor for his was a 2012 F-250, so the front is newer than the back, but…

Buying tahoes is actually one I can’t understand. If you are already going that large, the suburban doesn’t have any noticeable drawbacks. The 15" longer doesn’t actually make it harder to drive but you get more room, more comfort, and the same fuel economy. On the used market, they are often cheaper too!

1977-79 Lincoln Continental Mark V - 230 inches of American malaise.

It also has very little tumblehome, which is the inward slope that the greenhouse usually has as you move from bottom to top. It’s really not an elegant design.

The post is about length, but even granting that, the Excursion isn’t really any wider or heavier than HD trucks that are all over the place too.

Look man, length isn’t all that matters. OP mentioned girth and heft too.

The Excursion is shorter than every full size crew cab truck ever made. Its enormous size is more a figment of legend than actual reality.

Aftermarketwise, there are long bed mega cab conversions, which by my math would be 5" longer than the long bed crew cab assuming they swap the 6'4" bed for the standard 8'.

Introducing the new Jeep Excursion

Its shorter than any crew cab truck on the road... It does a damn fine job at being what it is, I know I have one and still do t have a problem parking it. 

Which is good, because that allows the cargo area to actually be useful.

Too long and too wide.  Seeing these things pull into the store for a shopping trip.  They take up 4 spaces, but some morons don’t like to walk too far, so they’ll park in a row of spaces that’s only 1 deep so the front or rear now sticks out WAY too far.  Never an issue unless you’re the unfortunate soul who’s parked…

Even worse is the Gladiator:

4-door Wranglers. The reason people put up with a Jeep is for their off-road capability. The length of the 4-door ruins that.
4-door Jeeps: crappy on-road, crappy off-road

Every crew-cab long-bed pickup truck.