I just strangled my kid and threw him out a second-story window. I'm heartened by a firm belief that, after the cuts, bruises, and broken vertebrae are mended, he'll be just a little bit more like a random commenter on Kotaku.

And the bonus is that they get to turn out completely perfect, just like you!

Your point doesn't have any firm support to it, unless you believe that Rockstar is lying about GTA Online being a long term endeavor that isn't tethered to any single entry in the GTA franchise. Sure, they could be lying about that just so they can act like this horribly broken thing is an entity of its own, separate…

They didn't say it was going to be "broken." They compared it to other online games and said that, yes, there would probably be bugs and various growing pains early on. What you take for some sort of telling admission is pretty much the standard warning for most online games.

Oh really? They said it was going to be "most likely a broken experience"? Jesus. You're accusing me of having my head up Rockstar's ass, but you're so bent on hating them that you've planted your head firmly up your own ass.

I think the problem a lot of people have with the mandatory bundling of the Kinect is that the "difference" it represents hasn't been unveiled to them in a convincing manner. People aren't saying that they don't want Microsoft to be different from Sony or anybody else. They're wondering, rather, why Microsoft can't be…

That's pretty much what Kinect is right now. And the thing is, it's sort of expected that Kinect would have been limited to a glorified tech demo during the current gen, because it came late to the party, and developers haven't really gotten on board with it. But if we're not seeing any truly compelling game uses 2…

Well, and then you get to the part where you realize that the appeal of these sorts of Kinect games is fairly limited all by itself. I mean, how many gamers are clamoring to play these current/next-gen versions of generic NES games ("Pro Wrestling", "Ice Hockey," etc)?

The online isn't GTA 5 multiplayer, though. It's far more ambitious than that. Rockstar rightfully separated the two with a staggered release so they could make it clear that this is a thing that's going to exist and evolve on its own, independent of GTA 5. There is nothing stopping critics from reviewing GTA Online…

I feel like Rockstar really stepped up their weather game with Red Dead Redemption, which has some of the most beautiful sky art I've ever seen in a game. They've pretty much kept it on track with GTA5. It's not as frequently stunning as RDR in that regard, but then again, I feel like RDR, just by its very nature,…

The punk station isn't excellent, but the selections from The Germs and Agent Orange are quite tasteful.

I actually find myself listening to the Worldwide station a lot. Mostly for the Tom Browne / Donald Byrd back-to-back fix.

For all the people bitching about the soundtrack, come the fuck on. The Germs? Agent Orange? Donald Byrd? The Delfonics? Pet Shop Boys? Twin Shadow? There's plenty of great shit on there. Open your minds.

I don't think it's officially confirmed yet by Rockstar, but most people assume a next-gen edition of the game is on the horizon.

There isn't going to be any way to "win" GTA Online, no matter how much cash one buys through microtransactions. Anybody who's going into it from a typical CoD-style perspective is probably going to be sorely disappointed. The mechanics are not tuned for hardcore competitive play. Deathmatches, like everything else in…

Your point makes no sense. You're trying to say that Rockstar purposely delayed the online component in order to goose their ratings, but if the online stuff is going to suck so bad, why even release it in the first place? People seem more than happy with the singleplayer all by itself. It's a nice conspiracy theory…

Can't review an online game that isn't even live yet.

Well, to be fair, it's only happening with the safehouse garages. I haven't experienced anything buggy with the larger garages that all of the characters get. If it's really that big a deal, just buy (or steal) the car you want and immediately transfer it to your larger garage before running any missions or whatever.…

No, it's an ever-expanding online game that you're getting for free with the single-player GTA 5, which all by itself packs far more than it needed to in order to justify the $60 pricetag. There's not a shred of evidence that Rockstar is trying to nickel and dime its enormous fanbase on the traditional single-player…

I'm neither surprised by this, nor am I worried about this being an issue with the game. I mean, yeah, if your entire goal is to play GTA Online like it's CoD, then you might have reason to be skeptical about how this will affect competitive play, deathmatch leaderboards and the like. But that's not all GTA Online is…