“As God is my witness, that man is DEAD.”

Go read a Jalopnik article about an 80's VW and picture the aliens being like that but for old starships.

It was both.

I tried that on Amazon Music and it gave me “Woo Hoo” by the 5.6.7.8's (that one song from Kill Bill). Not complaining.

With how shitty my knowledge of lyrics are, it’d probably give me the Weird Al Yankovic version half the time.

Also, hockey games are consistently 2.5 hours (a little more with OT), so you don’t have to stay up until freakin’ midnight to watch a full game.

This is a take I didn’t know I needed until now.

Ah Kessel jersey, how I’ve missed you.

Fast Space 9! Get Avery Brooks to play the bad guy.

Weeden—and not, say, a younger quarterback who actually played or started last year, and whose skill set and scheme experience would be a closer match for the offense run by Mariota.

Maybe even love.

Yeah, but is he fighting a bunch of Italian bros at 2:00 AM in Old Town?

We used pull-ups. That way we weren’t lying to her about getting rid of her diapers, we just had undies and “big girl training pants.”

Best guess: he won a bet.

Nah, he had an extra life so they kept playing.

Steve Johnson is the fourth-best American in men’s tennis.

Why in the hell would you run the Wildcat with Jay Cutler as your QB?

No, no, no. This is the Internet. Fans can’t be more than one thing. Either they’re all racist conservatives or none of them are. There’s no spectrum.

KEEP HOLDING!