I gave my star to him instead of you.

+1 faxed to your landline

I sold my red Jetta and got a beige Altima. Ugly as sin, but that car is invisible to cops.

Haven’t been watching the Caps series, but I can tell you that ain’t the case in the Pens series. Tired narrative.

I feel like I’d be more likely to finish a race if I was being chased.

Wait, Stephen A. Smith is on the same side as Deadspin? Now I don’t know what to feel. Betrayed?

Cheaping out on computers is like cheaping out on shoes. You’ll wind up spending more money since they need replaced all the time.

Cheaping out on computers is like cheaping out on shoes. You’ll wind up spending more money since they need…

I hate it when my entertainment is entertaining. I’m all for penalizing the hell out of people for twerking.

“That’s exactly why we never score.” -LA Rams

As a Pens fan, I’m fine with one game for something that blatant. Truthfully I’m surprised the NHL punished him at all.

Big news: Sr VP of Officiating Dean Blandino has informed the @NFL he’s leaving to take a job at a network, sources tell @AKinkhabwala & me.

Cornhole and ladder toss should be way higher because you can play them and hold onto your beer at the same time.

Because of this stuff, we eat so much quinoa.

So Deadspin TV, then?

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

How is it that the mainstream media doesn’t understand the concept of “don’t feed the trolls?”

F that. My ‘04 Jetta was a nightmare to own.

Don’t be fooled. My shocked face looks exactly like my “no shit” face.

“We’re entertainment. And if they’re so self-important they can’t recognize that, it’s on them. Not me.”

When he cums, he says “doink doink.”