No more metally than silverware. Get thee some metal straws!

swordfight!!!

How did the interviewer not just burst out laughing? I don’t think I could have held it together.

It’s the best nail polish. Consumer Reports agrees!

Real talk: $350 a month covers my car payment and car insurance. This kid can afford my car on his allowance.

The judge said that the father can have them released if he wants to, but he left for Israel for work and won’t be back for a couple weeks. He’s letting them sit in kid jail until then. (I live near BH so this is everywhere right now.)

Nope, she sent them to Children’s Village as punishment. Also, their father could have them released. From what I’ve read (I live close to Bloomfield Hills so this is all over the place) he could order them released, but instead he took off to Israel for work and won’t be back for two more weeks.

Didn’t hurt him at all! It was one of those sneezes that just hits you without warning, and everything was still all lubed up so he just shloop! shot right out! (I was on top, but not sitting directly on him, so there was nothing obstructing the movement.)

I’m gonna share a TMI story with you. A few months ago my boyfriend and I had just finished and he was still inside me but soft. Suddenly I sneezed a huge sneeze and shot him out with force. I laughed so hard I almost peed.

I know she’s your mom and all, but I would punch the shit out of her.

Yeah, wasn’t Jesus pretty big on serving others? And, like you said, not judging them? Didn’t he wash the feet of his disciples? I don’t think Jesus would have looked at gay people and been all, “Nope. Get out of my bakery.”

Try your best to explain it to them. Most people won’t listen, but you occasionally get through to one.

I plan on blasting mine across the room into a giant net. I want a radar gun to clock the speed.

TRUTH. My social studies classes involved learning who our governor was, and our state reps, etc. And all of the counties. Nothing in my public school education ever touched on power structures. At all. Not once. If this documentary handles race and privilege well I think it should be shown in every single classroom…

Same here. I’ve been trying to see it but... nothing. I got nothing.

I agree. “Do we really need a documentary about white privilege?” Ummm... we’ve all encountered white American teenagers, right? Absolutely we need a documentary about it because they’re dumb as shit and don’t know jack about white privilege.

Memo 1: “Texas, we’ve tried our best to accommodate you but it has become clear that you are not a good cultural fit. You are officially relieved of your duties. Security will escort you to the Mexican border.”

WHOA. I can’t even comprehend what would make a person think, “Yeah! That’s it! That’s the perfect thing to say right now!” and then THAT comes out of their mouth. People are so fucked up.

Same here!

I personally volunteer to punch anyone who brings “god’s plan” into that conversation with you.