If it makes you feel better, my friend got married on Halloween 2009. I’m still made she wouldn’t let me dress up as a bride (jk).

I read this as a derail and I laughed and then I hated myself and felt bad and then I saw the picture of Queen represented by legos on my office wall and I laughed again.

**Hands you vodka on the rocks and a slice of toast**

I DON’T KNOW BAN TRAINS BAN PEOPLE BAN NYC

The woman is transgender: http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Wom…

Victim is a trans woman; this is currently being investigated as a hate crime, according to NBC New York.

Keep your back to a pole. I’d rather brush up against urine than die.

Then I lay on the platform. Like when I'm transferring at the 72nd street station from the 2/3 to the 1, I lay on the platform.

and also

Some women don’t need a shove.

and

SOMETIMES THERE ARE TRACKS ON BOTH SIDES WHAT THEN JEFF WHAT THEN

Wow. I couldn’t imagine a bleecker start to her day!

THIS DOES NOT HELP CONVINCE ME THAT MY FEAR OF BEING PUSHED ONTO THE TRACKS BY A STRANGER IS IRRATIONAL, MARK

Haha, that does make more sense.

She really does. I didn’t mean what I said to be so harsh. Actually, if Caitlyn’s makeup routine was one she learned from Kris, then we can imagine a heartwarming movie montage of two former spouses hanging out, painting each other’s nails, and growing into BFFLs.