F1 should adopt the Cast Iron Monocoque chassis.

Nah. We should trust to the benevolence of corporations whose best interest NEVER runs counter to the health and well being of the citizenry.

The “Cabin Depress” button just plays a recording stating all the ways the American Space Effort has lagged behind since Apollo followed by reminding them that the “Real Astronauts” were heros and got free cars whereas these guys are nobodies who get their 401K devalued.
The favorite practical joke, however, will be to…

Not shown: recordings of attractive visitors’ posteriors kept for IT guys’ “personal collection”

“Biting Frascatore’s fist?”

Nah. He’s all old school and uses the Ono Sendai.

Though the TSA goon would have to understand what an aerosol was.

You can talk crap about Valentine’s Day all you want, but dont’ you DARE besmirch the holiest of holies that is Steak and BlowJob Night.

You’re obviously thinking of Giants fans. Snooty wine country types, all.

So they’re Steam Punks without the sense of irony? Or fashion? Or hygiene?

Are you kidding? THAT would be the best possible outcome of their spawning. The kids would both passively and actively hate their douche-ster parents and work directly to antagonize them by quickly becoming techno-fetishists.

So the pennyfarthing is the new fixie?

An improperly inspected or registered bike ridden by an improperly or unlicensed rider is sure as fuck a problem. Add into it that they’re riding in medians, crossing sidewalks and then running from cops and yeah, I have no problem with making it a priority to stop them. Now, make sure those bikes are safe and legal,…

That blocks out the gubmint but then how can the healing rays of Alex Jones’ show reach into my inner melon to cleanse my thoughts of Sheeple-tude?

I can’t use my salad spinner to dry my sweaters cause it’s full of salad I’m storing after washing it.

They need to dress up a little rat dog chihuahua in a snow speeder costume and let it scurry around his legs.

“a Year of Weird, Persistent Floods”

Did Tomsky plan for a rotating series of nice hats which would be screwed down tightly to foil the stiff Berlin breeze?

Give Sara Palin enough coaching and an earpiece to get prompts and even that bozo can come across as intelligent in interviews. If you want to ‘be famous” and go about it my pandering to the lowest common denominator then you are an idiot regardless of how well your handlers groom you. The fact that you think Madonna…