You know, I keep reading these stories and every time, from some director pulling what is more-or-less a stranger into their trailer to watch them masturbate, to this asshole just thrusting his tongue into a colleague’s mouth I keep circling back to one question: Who the fuck does this kind of shit? What kind of a…

Between you, my customer, and the kitchen staff, who are coked up beyond belief, I’m barely keeping it together.

Who gives a shit about the CMAs? I think we could all manage to keep going without Chris Stapleton being appropriately honored.

Just wait until Roy Moore shows up.

Fellas, I just hate the Cubs and their fans. Wrigleyville on game night is worse than the West Bank.

Yeah, wasn’t that attempted? Then the new guy fired all the progressives.

Every single Cubs fan can fuck right off, too.

They do. Just like they have somehow made one of the richest, most powerful women in the world a cipher for marginalized people everywhere. And they accuse Sanders supporters of some kind of cult of personality.

Of all the Hillbots that roam these comment sections, you are by fucking far my least favorite. You’re the walking, talking manifestation of David Brock’s coked up hot political takes.

So, you were there sitting next to Robby Mook while he watched matlab simulations and sipped small batch IPA at some loft in Brooklyn? Take your bullshit statistics and shove them up your ass. Remember when it was a statistical certainty that Trump would lose? Christ. It’s like you 8%’ers can’t remember anything…

Yeah, all of that is really bad. One could argue that it’s almost as bad as having an audio tape of him bragging to Billy Bush about sexually assaulting a soap opera actress, but that might be splitting hairs.

I can’t imagine why.

Oh, let’s not forget this little nugget:

Bernie would’ve won.

I think you need to step away for a moment, man. You are very online right now.

They’re already doing it, so... here we are, I guess.

Oh my god he’s morphing into Trump. If you have access to Elon, keep him away from spray tan.

No. Your reduction to “either, or” tells me that this conversation is not worth pursuing.

Oh my god I feel like I just fell into an inescapable vortex of stupid.

Ummmm... Ok.