can we have the LSD-laced cocaine to English translation of this shit, please?

Does anyone remember Andrew Dice Clay? I feel like he’s has to appear in this cabinet at some point. Perhaps heading a council on women or something.

I suggest replacing ‘getting hit by a car’ with ‘getting hit by Steve Bannon sucking his own cock’ going forward

You can’t forget the part where this fucking moron said “I’ve asked people not to leak things for a period of time and give me a honeymoon period” as if previous leaks were with permission and the people wouldn’t give a shit while he took his Goebbels act for a little test drive.

This is real? This actually happened? Jesus...It’s like all the kids I went to prep school with that never learned graciousness and humility, the ones that were mean to the staff and went crying to dad if he didn’t make the team, are running the nation.

The whole comment about killing the leakers is from Trump right? JFC.

What’s the more likely scenario:
1.) Scaramucci gave himself the nickname “the Mooch”, and nobody wants to call him that, or

Totally confirms how adamant I am that we need to be invoking Catch-45. Anyone so morally and intellectually bankrupt they would work for Trump is automatically disqualified from serving in the government.

I’m sure the Christian Right, who cling to Trump as if he’s the second coming, is perfectly fine with these comments. Because, frauds they are, it never really was about what the God they supposedly worship professes.

Christ it’s like Pharma Bro and Donald Trump had some unholy frat-boy baby and put it in a position of power.

I wish I could be drunk with power instead of just normal drunk.

Do you also rank sections of the Sistine Chapel? This shit’s a fucking masterpiece, top to bottom, and can only be appreciated as a whole. And also, you missed this:

Hah, that’s true. You couldn’t help but feel a little bad for Spicer, even if he did make his own bed working for Trump, because he was clearly overwhelmed by the crazy. This guy is just a giant POS who loves the crazy. Which should be either hilarious, terrifying, or both.

I expected it to take longer to feel nostalgic for the low-key mendacity of Spicer.

So it’s a case of “wanna-be tough guy comes in and talks mad shit while everyone collectively rolls their eyes and wishes he’d shut up already”?

Seriously, this guy is a fucking disaster. But he is so much more suited for the job than Spicer was. I will enjoy watching him fail with the rest of the administration instead of being uncomfortable as Spicy contorted himself into a pretzel trying to simultaneously justify and apologize for the dumpster fire that is…

What kind of stretching exercises does Steve Bannon do? Asking for a friend.

My brain has become a poached egg that has been poked with a fork and now the yolk is oozing out of my ears.

White House Nick Names ranked:

So Steve Bannon does yoga?