I feel like I’ve read this exact same headline from David 5 times before.

Is it still a hangable offense to steal mail, like it was in the old West?

I’m ... uh ... confused about what Raph thinks cutting back on air travel and getting everyone to drive would do. Environmentally speaking, cars aren’t really that much better than airplanes. Yes, airplanes are one of the rare forms of transport that have more of a carbon footprint than automobiles per head. But the…

Maybe Americans aren’t afraid enough. We don’t fear the death of our country. We don’t imagine that our country could disappear, would fall apart, or might no longer exist. We just haven’t faced that kind of existential threat in modern times - arguably, as far back as the Civil War. We don’t fear losing our country.…

The real problem is that when terrorists do invade our streets with napalm flamethrowers, everyone will think they’re just shooting a rap video.

Ah, viral marketing. A few years back. some marketing geniuses decided the best way to promote upcoming videogame Splinter Cell Conviction - a game about an international super-spy - was to have some guy crash a busy bar in New Zealand, waving around a gun and threatening the patrons. The guy was a hired actor,…

You don't know - maybe she was wearing a cape. Maybe it's making a comeback as pregnancy wear.

Seriously! When I was reading the story, I felt somewhat surprised that someone voted during labor and absolutely stone-cold stunned that she didn’t have to wait for hours to do so.

I suddenly have a vision of campaign workers trawling through neonatal wards looking for women in labor who haven’t voted.

What about the Coriolis effect?

On October 22, Dewetron sent a letter to SSC confirming the accuracy of the equipment and speed sensor they had provided to SSC, and that letter will also be submitted to Guinness as part of application for the world top speed record.

Surely it can’t be that. Surely. Right?

I’m imagining three horses trying to ride a skateboard.

You say that as if the “ad revenue per internet views” model is somehow unsustainable, a house of cards built on inefficiency, flawed assumptions, marketing concepts that have failed to fully adapt to hypertext media, kept afloat by venture capital, investment bubbles, creative accounting, and fundamentally rooted in…

Sure, go ahead and laugh. But when future scientists look back on our era - after having conclusively proven the damaging effects excessive acceleration on the human brain - they will view delirium furiosum as unto lead in the pipes of Rome. “How,” young children will remark, “could they fail to notice their society’s…

The best way to train your child to be a safe driver is through formative psychological trauma. Early in their driving experience, have them get into an accident that’s just severe enough to scare the shit out of them, but with no lasting physical consequences. If successful, they’ll be deeply conditioned to never…

It’s for fancy cows who enjoy the finer things in life.

Seeing Chris Christie once a year floating around the Super Bowl is what got him elected.

I’m ... confused what you’re so angry about? The article claimed Trump said something false. He said that he had brought lots of car plants to Michigan, and suggested he’d forced Japanese carmakers to relocate to the state. The latter is not true; the veracity of the former depends on what you consider “lots”. I…

Based on the fact that he thinks asking for $100,000 from pure strangers is acceptable, my guess is this guy is pretty damn rich. And when he says he’s spent all his money on a Lambo, that’s not literal. What he means is that he’s spent the cash that’s in his checking account. He’s not including his savings account,…