“These filthy nouveau bandwagoners don’t embody the true spirit of fandom like us older bandwagoners!”

A postseason game for the majority of college teams who aren’t ranked highly enough to get into the championship playoff, but still have a winning record.

So, our Z’s in words like “realize” are the older spelling and etymologically correct with the Greek and Latin roots. The Brits turned -ize into -ise to match the French spelling, when French culture became trendy among the English upper classes. Spelling it with a Z came to be viewed as a lower class vulgarism, and…

Putting on my conspiracy theory tinfoil hat - maybe they’re planning for when Andrew Luck decides to un-retire for his dear old dad.

Right? He just looks so damn evil. He should be threatening the world's water supply, or ordering the firing of the Death Star. 

Maybe you actually have something there. Keeps him warm, releases endorphins, oxytocin, rocking movement keeps his circulation going. Maybe this is the baseball fitness breakthrough of the decade. Soon, every MLB pitcher will be kept warmed up with hugs. Maybe we could have designated huggers. Or, treat them as part…

Non-sexual?!?!?!

You don't have to watch the Knicks, for a start.

The first string was struck down with rickets.

Hypothesis: Sam Darnold’s retinas have come detached and he can no longer see the field - but the Jets’ medical staff have reassured him he doesn’t need surgery until the offseason.

An idea I’ve had rolling around for a while:

You say that now- but come season’s end, when Buffalo gets bounced from the playoffs in some cruelly impossible miraculous way to once again break the hearts that Bills fans no longer believed they still had, it’ll be difficult to say whose experience of suffering is the more miserable.

Next up in “Sam Darnold’s Series of Incapacitating but Humorously Mundane Afflictions”:

There’s gonna be guys out there seeing that and thinking, “If some girl tried to kiss me, I’d be happy.”But the problem there is that you’re imagining that this hypothetical girl is really hot, attractive - the girl of your dreams, fantasy come to life.

They say every time Bill Belichick smiles, a puppy loses its innocence.

Belichick was never a child.

On its own.

“Clearly, my good fellow, you are not acquainted with the esteemed and most radical manuscripts of Dr. Hieronymus Fenton Pipplington, who theorizes that the cardinal humours which determine the most proper orientation of the leg bones for maximal recuperation are truly located within the hidden marrows of the left arm.…

That’s not exactly a fair case, because Leicester City’s 2015-16 was such a huge deviation from the norm. In 26 seasons of the EPL, only twice has a title been won by another club besides Man U, Man City, Chelsea, and Arsenal - Leicester 15-16 and Blackburn 94-95. That’s out of 49 total clubs which have spent at least…

Washingtons horrifying staff of witch doctors