Until this whole fiasco, I had assumed that they got new helmets every season, for safety reasons.Players crack helmets and facemasks all the time - so I can’t imagine it’s really designed for 10 years’ worth of regular use.

Obvious solution: Have a backup who also does two things. Like, a punter/long snapper. And then another dual backup for him - a long-snapper/tight end. And so on. Everyone on the roster does two things. We can maximize efficiency in this way. This is the next revolution in NFL strategy, providing both backups and…

It might be the plot to the TV drama “Vikings” on the History Channel.

The most exciting Panther remains Steve Smith and he doesn’t even like the Panthers anymore.

Yeah, the heating inside that dome can really dry out your skin.

I may be wrong, but I believe the Schutt Air Advantage is actually NOCSAE-certified. It was discontinued in 2011, so the model itself isn’t over 10 years old. Brown’s individual helmet was over 10 years old, which is why it falls outside regulations.

He loves the game so much he’ll play with no helmet, but not enough to play with a different model of helmet that's safer, more advanced, and isn't over 10 years old.

Don't worry, he'll rise again in three days.

Those lines are black.

Brown’s helmet model, Schutt Air Advantage is not on the prohibited list. The problem is that he got it over 10 years ago, so it can’t be certified.

I dunno - I’ve heard he has off-the-field issues.

Lampard was hired because Chelsea is under a transfer ban. That is the primary - possibly only -reason. They probably could’ve gotten the ban postponed while they appealed the case, but they decided that in their present situation - miles behind Man City and Liverpool, having just lost Hazard and Sarri - that it’d be…

Hello from 2019! Just to let you know - you should put all your money on the 2008 Lions to win the Super Bowl. And you should give Matt Millen an extension. Also, you’re gonna hear stuff about how you should draft some kid named Matt Stafford - nuh-uh. You, my friend, want Mark Sanchez. He’s a definite winner - no…

The question is: Are we gonna see an Adam Gase super hopped up on “coffee” and “smelling salts”, or will we get an Adam Gase that’s so drowsy and sleep-deprived that he’s falling asleep on his feet?

Because cocaine is famously unavailable in Miami. 

“People think I look like a fiending, crazy-eyed, junior executive, clone of Putin. How can I change that image?”

I remember a great anecdote about a Falcons tailback - In the final game of the season, he becomes the first Falcons rusher to break 1000 yards. They stop the game to announce and recognize the achievement. And then the following play, he gets tackled for a 5-yard loss and finishes the season with 995 yards.

I’d forgotten about Eugene Robinson. He actually won the Bart Starr Award in 1999, given to the player who “best exemplifies outstanding character and leadership in the home, on the field, and in the community.”

Baseball in Montreal?! That’s just crazy.

Oh come on, that was one time.