Long-time film critic James Berardinelli gave it zero stars, which he only does once every ten years or so, and called it one of the worst movies he had ever seen. His review is a joyful evisceration:

There’s gotta be a better way to say that.

The Lightning Thief movie was terrible on just about every level, but it did have a certain campy charm. I liked the Poker Face sequence!

Leonard Shelby should be on the list.

I’m just happy that Vertigo got a mention.

I do love the daring, artsy tone of the seventh movie but I almost wish it had been filmed by, like, Terrence Malick. It was going to make a billion dollars regardless so why not go all out and make a full-on arthouse film?

In high school (around 2002) I met a classroom full of people who thought Beethoven was “that guy from the dog movie” and that the Bible was the story of “that Dude who creates the world” (??). Nowadays I’m not even sure they would know about the dog movie.

The account that used to invent Parks & Rec-style headlines would’ve had so much fun with this.

A Random List of Videos You’ve Seen!

I’m happy to see “Common People,” but where is “Girlfriend in a Coma”?

Lucy Boynton was really excellent in the boarding school episode of Endeavour, “Nocturne,” which also features a very young Anya Taylor-Joy. I was thrilled when she started showing up in more things.

No one will ever beat David Suchet. Poirot is one of my three favorite shows, easily, and he was born to play the role.

Now that you mention it, Hugh Grant does a flawless Poirot in Paddington 02.

It’s possible to make Poirot consistently interesting, as the Suchet adaptations demonstrated. In fact, he was so perfect in the role I’m not sure why anyone else bothers.

We watched Boyhood again the other night and it seems to get better every time I watch it.

There was speculation that McKellan might replace Richard Harris in the role of Dumbledore, but McKellan made it clear that he wouldn’t accept the role because Harris famously didn’t like him and McKellan felt it wouldn’t be sporting.

glad to know the marriage was wonderful!

I hope they take a cue from The Good Place and really title it “Pirates of the Caribbean 6: The Haunted Crow’s Nest or Whatever, Who Gives a Crap?”

I had to google “was Draco sired by the giant spider” because it sounds exactly like something that post-Potter Rowling would say.

Luna was so good in the movies, and had such chemistry with Harry, that the producers should’ve gone against canon and paired them off at the end.