I will tell you with 1,000-percent certainty that everything I’ve learned confirmed what I already knew about the man

You did it wrong. You’re supposed to just put the chicken on the top rack and throw the spices in the soap drawer. The wash cycle will infuse the chicken with the spices and cook it for you.

Please remember to put “NSFW” in the headline, thanks.

Strange, I would have expected millennials to smother him with avocado toast.

It’s a shame that this crappy season is your introduction to this show. You don’t get to see the weird Hough siblings being strange but also brilliant (Julianne is such a good dancer that having her compete was basically unfair), none of the Chmerkovskys battling the judges (and their partners), none of Mark Ballas…

*jerking-off motion*

With Kanye you shouldn’t call it a boycott. That will just feed into his persecution complex. For Kanye I really like the “mute” wording. I’m not boycotting you. I’ve just forgotten you exist completely.

Of course he’s not going to be fired. He’s just going to suddenly choose to pursue other clients, after having the honor the serve the President Trump, and obviously it will have nothing to do with his actions yesterday and today. I mean, c’mon. He was mayor during 9/11, guys. 9. 11.

I can’t even with the sad selfie from Staci Felker. I’ve been cheated on and it’s quite frankly a fucking terrible feeling. However, and not to negate her feelings, taking and posting sad selfie and overlaying it with text about yourself in the third person is fucking weird. 

Yes, because Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers, Larry Wilmore and Hasan Minaj all gave such softball, unifying performances.

Why does it matter that she’s a woman and a mother?!!!! I’m so damn sick of celebrities using motherhood to wash away the horrible things they’ve done. Brezinski’s an idiot.

OMG’osh, this is incredibly exciting!

See Sam Bee.

Oh, he’s aware

I didn’t know Dennis Miller posted on Deadspin

To the other 11 Cavs:

I feel like 99% or these questions are just so various Chads can brag to each other in the team office about what trash questions they ask some kid.

Looks good in red...