Can you tell me if the bridge is made from cruelty-free or reclaimed materials?

Psst. I can hook you up with $250,000 worth of word testosterone and pictoral HGH for a huge discount. Just the price of a subscription. It’s premium stuff.

There is just no fucking purpose to this but sticking it to Obama, is there? It’s not like there’s no market for non-organic chicken. You just can’t charge as much for your badly-treated chickens, which presumably cost less to raise anyway.

Please have him email me and tell me what the alloys are before I perish.

Life comes at you quick.

When his left elbow hit the ground, he lost grip on the ball with his left hand (one might say DROPPED it) and the ball hit the ground. That’s a pretty clear non-catch according to the rules.

+1:100 scale

$169 (nice) is way too much to pay for a vibrator for a coworker. I usually go with something cheaper.

I assume Schroeder is saying what everyone else who’s famous is doing and has been doing.

So we now live in a world in which Pru is the good one? This feels strange.

Ok Jorni. Your comments are all over the place. You hated Franken earlier. A quick read of your comments for the last 24 hours didn’t help. Maybe you should pick an asshole side and truly commit to it.

Well WHY ELSE am I full of despair on a daily basis??

Proposal: a daily Deadspin feature on how whoever starts in right field for the Cardinals played that day relative to Giancarlo Stanton.

No. Other members of the family supported what Dylan Farrow said. It’s Allen versus several other people.

Relevant: Less gossip, but I saw this on FB yesterday and laughed. In only 12 hours!?

Okay, let me just say this: Your concern about these articles of impeachment (which had zero chance of gaining traction in the current environment) shows how super woke you are. Nice work! I’m proud of you.

So?

It’s mentioned in this:

“You have indicted me. … That’s not innocent until proven guilty.”

We just need John Oliver to host future Presidential debates.