Nope, not what I think at all. I think these bros behaved in an entitled manner, which was shameful. And the way Lochte led the charge to lie about it is abhorrent (on principle and because filing a false report violates the law). I think Lochte and the rest of them should apologize, and I don’t think a fine is out of…

Right right, bc in the US you can usually make a donation to a youth program to get out of charges that you made a false statement to the police. I’m aware that making a false statement to police is a crime.

I feel like these two together makes perfect sense. They are of the same vintage. And he is her type: musician/tool (see also: that guy from Nickelback she married).

What gets me is that presumably the Brazilian government was making such a big deal out of this because of the negative press, and then they basically shake this swimmer down for a donation. “How dare you lie and say that you were robbed by cops in our fair city?! Now, give us $11,000 and you can be on your way.”

Phelps: gets two DUIs, goes to rehab, sits down with Costas and says he’s different now. Shows picture of himself holding baby as proof.

*imagines Lochte and cohorts defiantly peeing in slow-motion while the Chariots of Fire theme song plays*

Haha, you’ve never had a fight at a gas station before? What are your Friday nights like? Kidding, I meant “some sort of general bro-like fighting” which happened to take place at a gas station.

Someone on Twitter referred to him as “Swim Shady” which is so brilliant, and I hope it catches on.

Entirely possible, hence the “for what it’s worth” qualifier when citing The Daily Mail.

For what it’s worth, Daily Mail is reporting the swimmers trashed a gas station bathroom, and the security guard at the gas station pulled a gun and said they had to pay for damages. But some other outlets are saying generic brawl at the gas station. I am anxiously awaiting the leak of that footage.

Agree, I adore them all. 2016 has been rough, not ready to say goodbye to this group. I mean, I know they will have to do a ton of press and then some ridiculous Smucker’s Champions Tour business, but donnnn’t goooo from my TV yet you pint-sized champs!

There is video of their interaction, too. Simone and Aly just gave an adorable interview to Costas and they showed the video of the whole team meeting Efron. Laurie Hernandez, my personal favorite firecracker, walks right up to him for a hug while the rest of the team gets their bearings around him.

NBC commentators said that after London or Beijing, the Chinese gymnastics coaching staff was given bonuses for the team’s performance. Since their team hasn’t been doing well here, the Chinese government allegedly asked for the bonuses back. Yikes.

Why do things have to be other things? Like Swedish Fish Oreos? Why can’t Oreos be Oreos? I can understand dyeing the filling of a Twinkie green for cross-promotional purposes. But don’t make it key lime pie. Just don’t.

Totally different ballgame if you don’t have notice that you’re having guests, or even if you’re getting into the swing of hosting. It probably took me 2 years of having friends over as an adult before I realized that no matter how much I plan my to-do schedule, on the day of, I will always have one less hour than I…

On the bright side Comedy Central now has a slot free at 11:30 again. Stephen. It’s time to come home. Your talents are wasted at CBS. We need you skewering the news now more than ever.

I totally misunderstood your comment, I thought you were redacting your dr’s name for privacy and saying you got surgery in a silly way. Sorry!

I have so many questions. I have a total pancake booty and am interested in something perkier but not Kardazzian level. I workout regularly, it’s just genetics. What is it like to sit on your new booty? Happy with the result? Feel free to tell me to buzz off if too personal.

Even though I knew it had a “happy” ending I could barely watch the video, it gave me such anxiety.

What you're telling me is that she registers on the Anne Hathaway scale.