Humans, they're alright.

Will Larry have taken his Prilosec pre flight or will he be farting the whole time?

Say it ain't Lhasa ap so!

Me: Can I take what's behind door 2 instead?
Contest Promoter: Are you sure? It's a cyanide pill.
Me: Yes, door 2 please

Anywhere they shop at Target instead of Wal Mart is close enough to urban for this GOP controlled Congress.

Is it me or does everything on LinkedIn look like it belongs in the Successories store?

Or shit

I have you beat. My last boss thought KISS was the greatest band ever.

JFK, blown away, what else do I have to say.

Wait, we can communicate with others without sketching symbols on cave walls?

Nice try but if you were really one of us in FOXLand you'd know we don't call em rich and poor here. They're Job Creators and Takers.

I've found that the holidays are another schism that separates me as a single childless man from my friends with offspring.

Nah, editing the Wikipedia article is too impersonal. He'd rather change men's mind one parked car at a time.

Number one song the week I was born was Rod Stewart's "Maggie May". Now did he stay with Maggie or go back to school? It was late September after all.
It actually was late September when that song hit #. My bday is the 26th

They got shot in that diner along with Tony Soprano

And the old bearded dude from Duck Dynasty.

What problem on this earth can't be solved by two men retreating to a parked car while their wives stay inside?

Saving Christmas or GTFO

The one that got me was the episode where Adam watched "When Harry Met Sally" on video. That movie was released in the summer of 1989 and it may have been 1990 before you could rent it at the video store. And there were a couple of other references in that episode that were much more early 80s like the TV show "That's…

Melancholy at Christmas? Kirk Cameron will have none of it! He requests your presence in his parked car for the next 80 minutes.