Ha, Mine:

Lacob’s Splatter

So when I placed my penis inside of a hot dog bun and asked my wife if she wanted a “cock meat sandwich” I was wrong? WTF !?!?

The National Suicide Prevention Hotline can be reached at 1 (800) 273-8255.

Yup, and the reality is that over-selectiveness is what makes women end up with bad guys. If you’re a womanizer, you really only have to be one type of guy — well groomed, nice hair, good sense of humor, and a little bit dangerous — and you fit bill for 90% of women. Its like they all are trying to find the perfect…

I smoke, and I don’t mind all the regulations because I don’t smoke inside my house or my car. Ironically I get annoyed when I am confronted with other people’s smoke.

You guys are really in a führer over this.

“What you’re seeing is smoke from the fireworks being set off around the area, all of them amateur displays.”

Social security is only in a mess because clowns like the Republicans (and Clinton) don’t support taking off the payroll tax cap.

This proves that there is justice in the world. It was only a matter of time before a little shrimp got its revenge on Peterson.

Janay Rice says she deeply regrets the role that she played the night of the incident.

In Obama’s socialist America the Podcast gets you.

Seeing the profane reactions by Eagles fans in Weatherford’s mentions was actually quite shocking. I had no clue any Philadelphians could figure out how to post on Twitter, let alone afford a smartphone.

“My offer is nothing. That’s promo code: NOTHING.”

Tough season for the Colts, but I’m sure Jim Irsay is still enjoying himself.

You know, maybe it is just the audio aspect of it. I kind of agree. But I prefer a male voice, with more bass, with xenophobic opinions, who occasionally costs taxpayers millions of dollars in public funding for a failed video game, and doesn’t totally believe in evolution.

Let’s go LIVE to Skip Bayless for a reaction!

The Santa Clara police chief told the Chronicle that his department usually makes about 30 arrests per game

Of course he’s at training camp. It’s being held at Notre Dame, which is pretty much a safe haven for those suspected of sexual assault.