Did...did he EAT any socks?

Can we at least name something BoatsBotesy McBoatsBotesface in recognition of the people’s votes?

He needs all that caffeine so his heart can pump the syrup that is his blood.

Following a conversation in my office: who’s the most notorious person to attend your alma mater?

Shy of the ground swallowing the arena, the only way this series ends is an OT own-goal

17. Getting hit by a car Getting hit by a Jart
18. Croquet Jarts

Nothing gold can stay

He might be the MVP, but he’d have been hero if he took a chance and got his bonus AND his 69th 3 of the season.

This is Sparky. He was a good boy. I miss him every day.

“And the NHLPA has now publicly confirmed that it has no interest or intention of engaging in any discussion that might make Olympic participation more attractive to the Clubs.”

*Merrick Garland calls a balk*

I always knew I’d have to sacrifice all of my dignity to make it out of the greys.

*scrolls down to comments*
*overshoots straight into Bill Simmons’s ass*
What the fuck just happened

Whatever the over/under is on people who point out that the comments are closed on the bracket post, I’ll take the over

I’m Mr Peanut

(v) a physician assistant, consistent with the limitations of G.S. 90-18.1, and (vi) a nurse practitioner, consistent with the limitations of G.S. 90-18

There’s been a lot of attention paid to Pats players declining to visit the White House, but what’s going to happen at the end of the NBA season, given that many more players and coaches are outspoken progressives? Could we see an entire team boycott?

And yet he’s only the second most controversial pizza magnate-turned-sports-baron in recent Southeastern Michigan history.

I haven’t seen London Knights get shelled like that since 1940

The best cameo is Marcel Marceau in Mel Brooks’s Silent Movie. Nothing comes close.