Jason, you make Jalopnik more awesome with each post. Torchlopnik must happen again.

mayweather is an ok boxer that dude would get his ass beat in a street fight. boxing is the least translating combat sport into real life

In-n-Out staff: "PLEASE, CONTROL YOUR BITCH, SIR"

I guarantee you most grown men over 180 lbs could take a Floyd jab or two. That guy doesn't throw knockout punches or haven't you been watching his career?

Born a virgin. Died a virgin.

I feel like there are ONLY expert freerunners , otherwise you've just got hospitalized ones.

I know there's a "happy ending" to all this, but this made me very sad:

I personally don't think people should be shamed but absolutely called out for valuing their superficial over anything deeper. Whether you "just happen" to like blondes or "just aren't into" black dudes are the same thing to me and likely rooted in something else.

I got tattoos without a thought as to what impact it might have on my employment opportunities. I must be really lucky because the impact has been exactly zero.

That you didn't get yourself checked out—or report the attempted poisoning (assuming that was what it was, and you didn't just eat shitty birthday cake) is troubling. She may try to do that to someone else, and she might succeed; that blood would in some way be on your hands.

Goddamnit, stay in the lane, Carl!

Sincere appropriation is still appropriation. Might be easier to swallow 'cause Eminem has a wicked flow, but you still can't help but feel bad for Treach, G. Rap and Masta Ace.

You've just ruled all popular music (rock, pop, dance) as cultural appropriation since it can trace it's primary parentage to African Americans.

Best and funniest discussion on reverse racism is from Aamer Rahman.

Intentional or unintentional, this perception that "white people dancing" is "elegant" when dances specific to the culture of other races is not is totally rooted in racism.

Sure why not, didn't pay 1500 for the girl did he.

Best thing ever. I'm off to the store to buy some Teddy Grahms right now.

Sensationalized headlines used to make not-so-life-or-death stories sound like its LITERALLY LIFE OR DEATH is lame click baity garbage used to drive eyes to stories that don't deserve it.

Oh, so now you're some kind of yoga expert.

There are healthier ways of being active than running further than anyone actually needs to.