Yeah, I think the only way to make it funny would be a rapid fire video montage of people telling to fuck off. If he gets into another conversation with someone like his greatest nemesis, Bill O'Reilly, it will just ring kind of hollow.

Sean Hannity has the benefit of actually looking like a Muppet that would satirize him.

But will Carlson bring back the bow tie that Stewart essentially shamed him out of wearing on national television?

Yeah, I mean Cheney essentially won. He managed to get his wars, fended of criticism by sheer force of will, finished two terms, and then retired, only emerging every now and then to talk a little smack. I guess there's the downside that there are a few countries that he can't visit, but he doesn't seem like much of a…

Is Ted basically just taking Sarah Silverman's "I can get away with saying terrible things because I say them in a little voice and also hey, it's just comedy" schtick to its logical conclusion?

His band is extraordinarily white. It is the only band I've ever hear that can manage to make bluegrass covers sound whiter than the originals, and I shudder when they attempts to mimic the genre of whatever musical guest is on that week.

Ahem, it's "where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average." And yes, I do not like that I know that, either.

It is an unjust world where disease forced the Magliozzi brothers into retirement, but Garrison Keilor gets to saunter off into an affectively folksy sunset of his own invention at his own discretion.

"cornpone overlord Garrison Keillor finally stepped down"

And yet, they love them so.

And yet, I think Jayne, if asked about it, would just spit on the ground and say something like "Ain't nobody should be marrying nobody anyhow, but if you're fixing to, I don't care who."

He's not? I was laboring under that delusion this whole time. Ok, not really laboring much, but you know what I mean.

Are folks not clear that treason is not just someone disagreeing with you, and tyranny is not just when someone who disagrees with you makes a law?

Hmm… are the death panels going to have to serve double-duty now?

Not if you're a worker.

I find it very endearing that my adopted hometown alt weekly's slideshow on the Pride parade featured, as the very first image, two bros just broin' out: http://www.pghcitypaper.com…

Obvious Onion headline: "Gay Divorce ruled legal in all 50 states"

Oh, I was wondering why the sanctity of my own marriage just suddenly felt ruined, some time around 10:30am EDT.

Because you don't choose to interact with Kanye, he interacts with you.

You're kinda right, in the sense that the North was neither chock-full of abolitionists nor (then as now) free of racists.