You can’t outrun a mountain lion, but you can outrun small children.

Sexual assault?

That’s cool I cut my hand on my plastic starbucks lid and bled all over my khakis.

Really had no choice but to comment.

• If you have small children with you, protect them by picking them up so they won’t panic and run.

Republicanism is like a dozen donuts on a table where a rich guy, a poor white guy, and a poor black guy are sitting. The rich guy comes, takes 11 donuts, then says to the poor white guy “that black guy wants your donut!”

Comments like this always make me think of the game Arkham Asylum where the Riddler tells a riddle where the answer involves chopping off the limbs of a baby. When asked how he could say such a terrible thing his answer was “It’s not my baby.”

Wizards are going to have to declare a national emergency to pay his contract.

Yeah, hmmm, what happened over the last 2 years in Washington that would piss the world off?

I think what annoys me more is they (like my parents and millions of other Americans) can only be convinced to vote based on their taxes and nothing else important. 

Like great-great-’gran-owen always said, ‘Never trust a man with neon purple hair who streams video games as a side gig.’

As far as I’m aware, no. 

The last thing LaVar Ball needs is to be around more Suns that don’t play basketball well.

What time does “What time does Super Bowl coverage stop?” start?

Or go no-huddle to stop the Patriots’ pre-snap shifts that were obviously confusing him.  

Goff was butt, but it once again raises the question for McVay: If your young QB is looking lost out there and facing a lot of zone, why not make things easier for him and build up his confidence with some screen passes?

Using this against him during the election would require them to admit that wearing blackface is offensive.

Once again,

“The source, who was unnamed but reported to have an 11 inch penis...”

If he’s such a great prognosticator, then why didn’t he open the broadcast with, “Everybody should just go to bed right now, because in a few hours you will all want to kill yourselves.”