As someone who replaced a very gross goatee with a much more double-chin-hiding chin curtain years back, I am disappointed that after a decade and a half with facial hair, I will be back to getting carded buying R-rated tickets at the movie theater as a 38 year old man.

All I did was make a list of the key points from the man’s plan. I think you’re angry at the wrong person. 

ah ha! nice try pete

“I Bought a Submerged Tahoe for $275 and I Nearly Became a Eunuch Trying to Get it Home.”

it’s more of a testament to how bad and lacking dynamism the entire cast is that this guy even gets interviewed, let alone has stacked enough ‘fame points’ to leave without having a character outside of ‘pete davison on weekend update’

I’ll pass on calling dibs. Few things are more humiliating than being underwater on a Hyundai.

That LIDAR resolution is stunning. It’s everything The Italian Job told me I could get with a Canon XL1

While it’s certainly not above Lorne Michaels to just retread the same fucking joke a billion times - sometimes, like with the post-2016 Trump bits, they even forget to add the joke to the repetition - I don’t really feel like Pete Davidson has shown anything to make the argument for using him in better material.

wow i guess reflexively branding yourself as a self-aware deadbeat who knows he’s a letdown as a cast member didn’t pay off after all

... thus proving that jet fuel won’t melt steel beams?

must have just come back from the bathroom, they have one of those Magic Eye posters in there

Looks ok to me.

I think it falsely implies her murder only matters because she once dated Carey.

“There was only one problem: People on the internet were absolutely convinced Bernie’s army fought everyone, even though it was really just a small minority of them. In those days, internet people didn’t realize that they weren’t the majority, and journalists went along with it because pretending whatever was on…

I was willing to reconsider my opinions until I got to “I would expect a Ford fan to be a simpleton”. I appreciate your effort to take the high road, but dismissing all fans of a given brand as simpletons is almost exactly the same thing you’re accusing me of. (Unless that was your point and I’m just missing the…

I have two (possibly unpopular) opinions on this:

TL,DR: Trump held a rally and a NASCAR race broke out, 

Fun fact: 50% of NASCAR fans are attracted to the sport because it gives them hope that they, too, will someday have the courage to make a left turn despite the ensuing condemnation and ridicule from their peers.