Ooh, look at the big shot over here who had arms and legs! La-dee-friggin’-da! We held the bat in our teeth and rolled around the bases!

Pfft, you’ll just end up driving it to the mall like all the other posers. Most airplane tugs never even see tarmac.

This, to me, will forever be the best Trump photoshop:

I’d like a more flexible work week, and the ability to trade shorter/ longer days for extra/fewer days.

She’s far from my favorite local politician, but she’s genuinely popular in Minnesota and is perfectly situated to get re-elected to her current job for as long as she wants it.

That, and the fact that she’s just not as progressive or charismatic as, say, Sanders or Warren.

She’s putting him on Double Secret Probation!

Holy fuck, this shit might result in a stern letter!

Or maybe they’ll drive it to MOAB and back, IF THEY CAN FINISH IT IN TIME!

Good riddance, but if he wants to take Kraft and Roethlisberger with him, I wouldn’t object.

Remember when people were shitting all over Pete Davidson for making fun of this dude on SNL? The hand-wringing was gross at best. 

A moron who’s gotten away with this behavior his whole life bc he’s a star athlete.

What kind of moron sends threats in a GROUP text?  

I never read The Grapes of Wrath as a career guide.

I admire he and Williams making an effort to give him a shot, but when they saw how slow he was in testing, they should have quickly made a change. Throughout the season he has been over a second slower per lap than his rookie teammate, and Williams was foolish for sticking with him throughout the season.

I’m sad for the guy but not shocked (very eager to see who Williams puts in next). What was shocking today was that Grosjean has signed on for another year at Haas: https://www.racefans.net/2019/09/19/grosjean-secures-new-haas-deal-for-2020/

shut up tomato.

Disclaimer: My brother sent me this. I did not make it myself 

Go to Matt’s, get a juicy lucy.